The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)

Colin Farrell: Pádraic Súilleabháin

Photos 

1 more photos

Quotes 

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : I am not putting me donkey outside when I'm sad, okay?

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : Some things there's no moving on from. And I think that's a good thing.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : You used to be nice. Or did you never used to be? Oh, God. Maybe you never used to be.

• [last lines] 

  Colm Doherty : Pádraic. Thanks for lookin' after me dog for me, anyways.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Anytime.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : There's two of us in this!

  Colm Doherty : No, there isn't!

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : It takes two to tango.

  Colm Doherty : I don't want to tango.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : You were dancing with your dog...

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : So you'd rather be friends with this fella, would ya? A fella who beats his own son black and blue every night that's he's not fiddling with him.

  Dominic Kearney : I never told him that, daddy. He's just drunk now.

• Dominic Kearney : What trouble are ya in with him?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : He just... doesn't want to be friends with me any more.

  Dominic Kearney : What is he, twelve?

• Colm Doherty : Ah, well, I suppose niceness doesn't last then, does it, Padraic? But will I tell ya something that does last?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : What? And don't say somethin' stupid like music.

  Colm Doherty : Music lasts.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Knew it!

  Colm Doherty : And paintings last. And poetry lasts.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : So does niceness.

  Colm Doherty : Do you know who we remember for how nice they was in the 17th century?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Who?

  Colm Doherty : Absolutely no one. Yet we all remember the music of the time. Everyone, to a man, knows Mozart's name.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Well, I don't, so there goes that theory. And anyway, we're talkin' about niceness. Not what's his name. My mammy, she was nice. I remember her. And my daddy, he was nice. I remember him. And my sister, she's nice. I'll remember her. Forever I'll remember her.

  Colm Doherty : And who else will?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Who else will what?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Remember Siobhan and your niceness? No one will. In 50 years' time, no one will remember any of us. Yet the music of a man who lived two centuries ago...

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : "Yet" he says, like he's English.

  Siobhan Súilleabháin : Come home, Padraic.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I don't give a feck about Mozart. Or Borvoven. Or any of them funny name feckers. I'm Pádraic Súilleabháin. And I'm nice.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : It was all going fine until he chopped off all his fingers.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : I don't like to be chatting about these types of things, Dominic!

  Dominic Kearney : What types of things?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Sisters with no clothes on!

  Dominic Kearney : You saw my daddy with no clothes on.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Till the day I die, I wish I hadn't.

  Dominic Kearney : Sure, don't I know it.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : What's your tune called?

  Colm Doherty : The Banshees of Inisherin, I think.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : But, there are no banshees on Inisherin.

  Colm Doherty : I know, I just like the double S-H sounds.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : [bursting into Colm's house]  How are ya, fatty? Dancing with your dog, is it? Well who else is gonna dance with ya? Your poor dog has no say in the matter. And if you're too rude to be offering me a seat, I'll be taking one of me own accord!

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : [sits]  How's that for an old hello?

  Colm Doherty : Have you gone fecking mental?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Have I gone fecking mental? No I haven't gone fecking mental. Not only have I not gone fecking mental, but I have got ten fingers to prove I'm not fecking mental. How many fingers have you got to prove you're not fecking mental?

  Colm Doherty : Nine fingers.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Nine fingers is the epitome of mental.

• Colm Doherty : So, let's just call it quits and agree to go our separate ways, for good this time.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Your fat fingers killed me little donkey today. So, no, we won't call it quits. We'll call it the start.

  Colm Doherty : You're jokin' me.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Yeah, no. I'm not jokin' ya. So tomorrow, Sunday, God's day, around 2:00, I'm going to call up to your house and I'm gonna set fire to it, and hopefully you'll still be inside it. But I won't be checkin' either way. Just be sure and leave your dog outside. I've nothing against that gom. Or you can do whatever's in your power to stop me. To our graves we're taking this. To one of our graves, anyways.

• Mrs. McCormick : A death shall come to Inisherin afore the month is out.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : A death, huh?

  Mrs. McCormick : Maybe even two deaths.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Well, that'd be sad.

  Mrs. McCormick : We shall pray to the Lord 'tis neither you, nor poor Siobhan, will be either of them.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Well, is that a nice thing to be sayin'?

  Mrs. McCormick : I wasn't trying to be nice. I was trying to be accurate.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : Do you know what you used to be?

  Colm Doherty : No, what did I used to be?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Nice! You used to be nice! And now, do you know what you are? Not nice.

  Colm Doherty : Ah, well, I suppose niceness doesn't last then, does it?

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : Now... if I've done somethin' to ya, just tell me what I've done to ya. And if I've said somethin' to ya or maybe if I've said somethin' when I was drunk and forgotten it. But I don't think I've said somethin' when I was drunk and I've forgotten it. But if I did, then tell me what it was. And I'll say sorry for that too Colm. With all me heart, I'll say sorry. Just stop running away from me like some fool of a moody school child.

  Colm Doherty : But you didn't say anything to me. And you didn't do anything to me.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Well that's what I was thinking, like.

  Colm Doherty : I just don't like ya no more.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : [hurt and disbelieving]  You do like me.

  Colm Doherty : I don't.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : But you liked me yesterday.

  Colm Doherty : Oh, did I, yeah?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I thought you did...

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : What the hell was he hittin' you with?

  Dominic Kearney : A kettle was the final thing. I wouldn't minded, but for the spout.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : It's about your daddy.

  Declan : What about Daddy?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Uh, bread van crashed into him.

  Declan : The bread van?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Yeah. They said you'd best hurry home to him, lest he should die all alone.

  Declan : Die?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Or get worse, all alone.

  Declan : This is impossible.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : It's not impossible. Bread vans crash into people all the time.

  Declan : I know! That's how me mammy died. If it's the same fecking bread van, I'll kill them.

• Colm Doherty : I was too harsh yesterday.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Yesterday, he says! I know well you was too harsh yesterday.

  Colm Doherty : I just... I just have this tremendous sense of time slipping away on me, Padraic. And I think I need to spend the time I have left thinking and composing. Just trying not to listen to any more of the dull things you have to say for yourself. But I am sorry about it. I am, like.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Are you dying?

  Colm Doherty : No, I'm not dying.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : But then you have loads of time.

  Colm Doherty : For chatting?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Aye.

  Colm Doherty : For aimless chatting?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Not for aimless chatting. For good, normal chatting.

  Colm Doherty : So we'll keep aimlessly chatting and my life will keep on dwindling. And in 12 years, I'll die with nothin' to show for it, bar the chats I've had with a limited man, is that it?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I said, "not aimless chatting" I said "Good, normal chatting."

  Colm Doherty : The other night, two hours, you spent talking to me about the things you found in your little donkey's shite that day. Two hours, Padraic. I timed it.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Well it wasn't me little donkey's shite, was it? It was me pony's shite. Which shows how much you were listenin'.

  Colm Doherty : None of it helps me. Do you understand? None of it helps me.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : [after Colm leaves]  We'll just talk about something else, then!

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : They don't think I'm dim or anything?

  Siobhan Súilleabháin : Dim? No.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : You don't seem very sure about it.

  Siobhan Súilleabháin : Of course, I'm sure about it.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Dominic's the dim one on the island, isn't he?

  Siobhan Súilleabháin : He is, aye. By miles.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Uh, hang on, by miles. And then, who's the next dimmest?

  Siobhan Súilleabháin : Well, I don't like to judge people in those terms now, do I?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : In what terms?

  Siobhan Súilleabháin : In order of their dimness.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Well, I know you don't. And neither do I, do I? But try, like.

  Siobhan Súilleabháin : No! I won't try. There's enough judgy people on this fecking island, so no! You're not dim! You're a nice man, all right? So, move on!

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I'm as clever as you, anyways. I know that at least.

  Siobhan Súilleabháin : Yeah, don't be fucking stupid.

• Dominic Kearney : I used to think you were the nicest of them. Turns out you're just the same as them.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I am the nicest of them.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : Well, don't ask a man to call up to ya at your fecking house, so, like he has nothing better to do with his fecking time.

  Colm Doherty : I didn't ask you to call up to me at me house. And you do have nothing better to do with your fecking time.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Huh?

  Colm Doherty : You do have nothing better to do with your fecking time.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I know I've nothing better to do with me fecking time, but there's better things I could be doing with me fecking time than to be calling up to ya at your house, Colm Doherty!

  Colm Doherty : Like what?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Huh?

  Colm Doherty : Like what else could you be doin'?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Reading.

  Colm Doherty : Reading, yeah? Me, this morning... this I wrote. Tomorrow, I'll write the second part of it. And the day after, I'll write the third part of it. And by Wednesday, there'll be a new tune in the world, which wouldn't have been there if I'd spent the week listening to your bollocks, Padraic Suilleabhain. So, do you want to take your pint outside, or do you want me to take my pint outside?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I'll take my pint outside, 'cause it's a shite tune anyways, I wouldn't bother with it.

• Colm Doherty : If you don't stop talkin' to me, and if you don't stop botherin' me, or sendin' your sister or your priest to bother me...

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I didn't send me sister to bother you, did I? She has her own mind. Although, I did send the priest though, you have me there.

  Colm Doherty : What I've decided to do is this. I have a set of shears at home. And each time you bother me from this day on, I'll take those shears and I'll take one of me fingers off with them. And I'll give that finger to ya. A finger from me left hand. Me fiddle hand. And each day you bother me more, another I'll take off and I'll give ya until you see sense enough to stop. Or until I have no fingers left. Does this make things clearer to ya?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Not really, no.

  Colm Doherty : Because I don't want to hurt your feelings, Padraic. I don't, like. But it feels like the drastic is the only option left open to me.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : You've loads of options left open to ya. How's fingers the first port of call?

  Colm Doherty : Please, don't talk to me no more, Padraic. Please. I'm begging you.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : But...

  Jonjo Devine : Shush, like, Padraic. Just, you know, shush, like.

  Gerry : Yeah, I'd shush, like.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I will shush. Except me and me sister were thinking, you might just be a bit depressed, Colm. And I tell you this much, fingers just confirms it. Don't you think, Colm?

  Colm Doherty : Starting from now.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : I think.

  Jonjo Devine : Ah, you don't, Padraic.

  Gerry : You don't, Padraic.

  Jonjo Devine : Your sister does.

  Gerry : Your sister does, aye. Siobhan does.

  Jonjo Devine : You're more of a...

  Gerry : You're more of a... What is he?

  Jonjo Devine : You're more one of life's good guys.

  Gerry : You're more one of life's good guys, aye. Apart from when you're drunk.

  Jonjo Devine : Apart from when you're drunk, aye.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I used to think that'd be a nice thing to be. One of life's good guys. And now, it sounds like the worst thing I ever heard.

  Jonjo Devine : Ah, don't take it like that, Padraic.

  Gerry : Don't take it like that, Padraic. We're on your side.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : We haven't been rowing. I don't think we've been rowing. Have we been rowing?

• Gerry : Are you rowing?

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : I didn't think we were rowing.

  Gerry : Well, you are rowing.

  Jonjo Devine : Well, you are rowing. He's sitting outside on his own like a whatchamacallit.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : It does look like we're rowing.

• [first lines] 

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Colm? Are you coming out to the pub, Colm? It's two o' clock, like. Will I see you down there so? I'll see you down there so.

• Pádraic Súilleabháin : There was a bit of news I remembered, Mrs. O'Riordan. Dominic Kearney's father beat Dominic senseless with a kettle Saturday, and is staying with me and me sister, Dominic is. So, at least his father will take a bit of a break from his beatin' of him. And him, a policeman. Isn't that news?

  Mrs. O'Riordan : Ar, that Dominic's an awful little bollocks. That's no news.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : Still, he was in a bad way when I came upon him.

  Mrs. O'Riordan : I'd beat him with a kettle myself if I wasn't old.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : It's news is all I'm sayin'.

  Mrs. O'Riordan : That's no news. That's shite news.

• Dominic Kearney : Tout chez.

  Pádraic Súilleabháin : What?

  Dominic Kearney : Chez? Tout chez? It's from the French?