- Molly: Okay, uh, look at modern literature. All of the greatest female characters were written by woman because no man could ever write from a female's perspective. Women have this compassionate chemistry that allows them to listen with an unbiased ear. All woman, even you.
- Bridget: Mhmm. Tuesday.
- Molly: So you call them days of the week?
- Bridget: No... Well, yes. But Trip started that
- Molly: Wait, but there are that many?
- Bridget: No... sometimes.
- Molly: I've never just dated, per say.
- Bridget: I wouldn't necessarily call it dating.
- Molly: What would you call it?
- Bridget: Fucking?
- Trip: Why do you think everyone is gay?
- Bridget: I don't think everyone is gay.
- Trip: Mmhmm.
- Bridget: I don't think Chloe's gay.
- Chloe: I have totally kissed a girl.
- Bridget: Sweetheart, if I thought you were like a second gay, I'd be all up in it.
- Chloe: Well now is your chance, Bridge. Wanna do me in the bathroom?
- Bridget: Yes
- Trip: Stop hitting on my girlfriend.
- Bridget: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you allowed to do that? Didn't think so.
- Trip: Asshole.
- Bridget: Fucker.
- Bridget: I don't really know if that proves that I'm more sensitive then all guys.
- Molly: Stop saying that. You listen with your whole body and you have this intense eye contact. No guy, not even the best guys, have that.
- Bridget: But I don't really feel like that's a gender thing, I feel like that's a personal thing.
- Molly: You're SO wrong. Okay, uh, look at modern literature. All of the greatest female characters were written by woman because no man could ever write from a female's perspective. Women have this compassionate chemistry that allows them to listen with an unbiased ear. All woman, even you.
- Bridget: I can be both. I-I mean I can be. I can be the unreliable douche-schnozzle who grabs her ass in public and wears work boots, but I can be also be the one who holds doors for her, and tucks her in at night, and-and buys her fucking gerber daisies for no goddamn reason!
- Chloe: I know you can.
- Bridget: I'm gonna go kick his ass right now.
- Chloe: N-n-n-no, no, no, no. Come on Bridge.
- Bridget: I'm done with this!
- Chloe: Don't say that.
- Bridget: I just did. Did she go home with him?
- Chloe: I don't know.
- Bridget: Fuck!
- Chloe: I don't think so.
- Bridget: You fucking straight girls! You're all just a bunch of closet cases. Maybe we should all just date guys! Maybe I should I have a fucking boyfriend! My heart, is like on the floor right now. I wish a car would just come and hit me!
- Chloe: You want me to hail a cab?
- Bridget: No, I'm talkin' bus.
- [Chloe quietly enters Bridget's room while she is sleeping next to Molly]
- Bridget: [whispering] What's going on?
- Chloe: I'm sorry. I just gotta do a final sweep through of my stuff. I can't find my hair straightener.
- Bridget: Well, I don't have anything in here.
- Chloe: Why can't I look for it now?
- Bridget: Well... I'm kind of in the middle of something.
- Chloe: I'm sorry, I can be totally quiet.
- Molly: [sits up in bed] Hey, what's going on?
- [both Molly and Chloe gasp while Bridget looks mortified]
- Chloe: Oh, my God. I knew it. I fucking knew it! You're an idiot. You know that?
- Molly: It's all my fault.
- Chloe: You're right. It is all your fault! You have a boyfriend, Molly! This is absurd! Please tell me that you were drunk last night.
- [Molly does not reply]
- Chloe: Oh, this is a sober brilliant idea! What is wrong with you? Great... this has been a wonderful morning. Whatever...
- [picks up her hair straightener iron]
- Chloe: Here it is. I gotta go. I'll see you later, Bridget. And Molly... just give me a call later when you get your head out of your ass!
- Chloe: Bye.
- [as she leaves]
- Chloe: .
- Trip: Bye.
- [groggy mumbling while brushing his teeth]
- Trip: .
- Hot Girl 1: Bye.
- [Trip looks at the strange incredibly attractive girl picking her stuff and leaving]
- Hot Girl 1: .
- Trip: Naaaaa-ice.
- [nodding his head in approval]
- Trip: .
- Bridget: Thank you.