Psych (TV Series)
Dis-Lodged (2008)
James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer
Photos
Quotes
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Shawn Spencer : I want the truth. What really happened to my cat Chairman Meow?
Henry Spencer : You want answers?
Shawn Spencer : I want the truth!
Henry Spencer : You can't handle the truth!
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Shawn Spencer : I'd like to show you something.
[hold his left hand at eye level]
Shawn Spencer : See that? It's the lodge radar. And look at this.
[flaps his right hand underneath his left]
Shawn Spencer : It's me, flying underneath it. CAW CAW!
[walks his fingers across the table]
Shawn Spencer : Now look down here. It's Gus. He can't fly.
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Henry Spencer : This is not the time for your shenanigans.
Shawn Spencer : It was a single shenanigan. Technically more of a hijink.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : Brazilian airport codes. How do you know that?
Shawn Spencer : I lived in an airport for a month, Gus.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : That was Tom Hanks in "The Terminal"!
Shawn Spencer : Same difference.
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Carlton Lassiter : Uh, I was just driving by the office and saw the lights on...
Shawn Spencer : You want to hire us.
[Lassiter hesitates]
Shawn Spencer : Oh, come on, Lassie, it's not that tough. Let it go.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yes, come on.
Shawn Spencer : Look around! You're in a safe place, surrounded by men... who love you. Gus?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Lassiter, I love you.
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Shawn Spencer : [to Lassiter] Now that I've joined the lodge, that makes your father-in-law my brother. Which makes me your uncle... in-law. It's going to get especially awkward around the holidays.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : [trying to open a safe] It's not happening, Shawn.
[Shawn scans the room, then sees a picture of a beautiful woman close to the safe]
Shawn Spencer : Try 36-24-36.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Are you serious?
Shawn Spencer : Just... click it in gentle.
[Gus tries the combination, but the safe stays closed]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : That was a good idea. Now what?
Shawn Spencer : Huh... I really thought I nailed that.
[Gus notices the picture, then smirks and giggles]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn, you've really got to work on your estimating skills. 36-24... 38.
[safe opens]
Shawn Spencer : Dude! You're a safe cracking machine!
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I know.
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Shawn Spencer : My God! Did you see who that was?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : It's hard to see anything with someone's knee in your eye!
Shawn Spencer : It's your own knee!
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Shawn Spencer : How sure are you?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Eighty-five, eighty-six percent.
Shawn Spencer : We've gone on much less.
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Shawn Spencer : [concluding his summation] Who knew... that in small doses, it acts as a vaccine, while larger doses are absolutely lethal?
[every doctor in the club says "I did"]
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Shawn Spencer : You're in good hands with Gus. Nimble, agile hands. Surgeon's hands, really. He once removed a boil from his own thigh using a paper clip and a warm can of Sprite.
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Shawn Spencer : [about Parker] Look, he's the only suspect we have. He tried to hate *me* to death. I know it's circumstantial, but in a pretty bad way...
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Shawn Spencer : [doing the Monarch Lodge's secret handshake with the security guard] Hold it, fold it, skim it, crouching tiger, zookeeper's boy, hairdresser on fire, girlfriend in a coma, slap it on a biscuit.
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Shawn Spencer : [right after breaking into a house] Say what you will about credit cards and paper clips, sometimes a door just needs to be *owned*.