- The vampires offer shelter to an old nemesis who's down on his luck.
- Simon the Devious worms his way into the residence, and Laszlo suspects that his rival wants the witch's hat that he's always lusted after. Meanwhile, Nandor discovers that Guillermo is a slayer, and Colin does battle against an Internet toll that threatens to deprive him of his sustenance in chat rooms.—Gislef
- Laszlo and Nadja are coming back from a movie, and hear a voice from a nearby sewer grate calling to Laszlo. The voice asks them to come down, and the vampires do so. A figure moves through the shadows and they approach it, and finds a chamber containing Simon the Devious.
Colin is in her bedroom accessing the Internet via multiple laptops. He's feeding on the life energy of Internet posters, relying on quantity to make up for quality. Total strangers get furious with Colin,
Simon "plays" an abandoned piano, using a Zoom because he can't actually play, and introduces his vampire posse who are lurking with him: Count Rapula and Carol. He explains that most of his crew left after his nightclub exploded because of Laszlo's cursed hat. Simon says that the ambulance people found him and took him to a hospital, He used what little strength he had to wander the sewers, and reconnecting with Carol and Rapula. Nadja invites Simon to come to the residence because she feels sorry for him, and Laszlo and his wife return home. They arrive and find Simon and his crew chatting with Nandor. Carol wants to eat Guillermo, and Nandor figures she probably shouldn't.
Nadja and Laszlo take Simon down to the basement where they keep spare coffins, and find Elvis there. Laszlo admits that he turned Elvis into a vampire in the 1970s, and Elvis sometimes uses the basement for recording. They go back upstairs, and later Nadja tells the crew that it's partially their fault that Simon has fallen on hard times. Laszlo points out that they don't know where the hat is so they don't need to worry about it.
Colin is irritated that some human nerd is telling people to ignore him,. and is getting Colin's accounts suspended. The energy vampire vows that it will not stand and realizes the Internet troll is getting to him.
Laszlo goes to confront Simon, who runs away from him. Simon goes into the cellar and hides something behind his back, and Laszlo demands that Simon reveal the covered item that he's holding. Laszlo takes Simon to the others and says that he's a thief, and Simon reveals that under the cover is a bat that he made out of sewer trash, that he made as a thank-you present to the residence vampires. Laszlo reluctantly apologizes.
Later Guillermo is cleaning up and comes across Carol. She says that she knows he's a slayer, and can smell the death on him. When Guillermo backs away from her, he falls down a flight of nearby stairs. Colin wants to go check on it, but is too busy responding to his troll.
Carol advances on Guillermo, calling him "Slayer", and she grabs him by the throat. Guillermo accidentally kills her with a wooden broom handle, and she turns into dust. Nandor comes out and says that he heard feminine shrieking, and figures Guillermo is trying to make a girlfriend out of dust. The shape and smell reminds him of Carol, and he asks Guillermo if he killed Carol. Guillermo finally snaps and admits that he does but insists that it was an accident, and Nandor tells him not to tell anyone because it reflects badly on him.
The next morning, Guillermo cleans up Carol's dust. Colin hacks the troll's Ebay account and the troll gives Colin's address so Colin will come and the troll can kick his ass. The energy vampire calls an Uber driver to take him to Medfored, Massachusetts where the troll is, and bores the guy so that he almost goes off the road.
That night, Simon calls a house meeting and thanks the4 vampires for letting him stay there. He tells them that Carol has gone missing, and notes that Guillermo seems relived. Simon figures that Guillermo is relived because Carol didn't like him, and the vampires agree that Guillermo is a downer. Angry, Simon asks Laszlo where the hat is because he wants it. Laszlo has it and puts it on, and points out that Simon took it by force from him.
Simon grabs the hat at superspeed but when he tries to leave, slams into a door he thought he left open. Laszlo shoots him with an arrow, and it goes through Simon's hand, much to Simon's surprise. Laszlo takes the hat back at superspeed and goes out into the street. Cars hit him repeatedly, and Nadja reminds him that the hat is cursed. He loses the hat, and Simon grabs it and flees into the sewers.
Colin gets to Medford and goes to the Internet care the troll was using. It's closed, and Colin figures that the whole feud had gone too far. However, he gets a message from the troll saying that the troll knows Colin is there, and inviting him to meet him in the alley in the back. Colin goes to the alley and finds the troll--a real troll--waiting for him.
Nadja, Nandor, and Guillermo go to Simon's chamber in the sewer.
The troll, Chunt, tells Colin that he doesn't like the term "trolling". Colin verbally spars with him, and Chunt insists that his online trolling isn't related to him being a troll.
Laszlo and Simon are in the chamber, fighting in bat form. They revert to human form and Laszlo points out that Simon is outnumbered. The rest of Simon's crew appear, including Elvis who has secretly been on his side. Carol still isn't there, and Nandor figures that she's somewhere.
Colin talks about bridges and trolls. A lot.
Simon says that he wants what Laszlo has, and he envies that Laszlo and Nadja are together in love. His crew doesn't fulfill him as it once did, and he doesn't even know who they are. Nadja tells him that he doesn't need the hat, and it has a giant curse on it. Simon still wants it, then discovers that his foot fused with the metal of the grate he's standing on when he transformed from a bat. The grate starts to sink into the water below, taking Simon with it. Laszlo and the vampires leave, and Simon's crew refuse to help him because he dismissed them.
Laszlo tells Guillermo to stay and grab the hat, and Nandor loudly insists that Guillermo didn't kill Carol. Simon wonders why he would say that, and Guillermo points out that Nandor threw suspicion on him. and Nandor wonders why Guillermo is so interested in whether Simon will drown.
As Colin apologizes to Chunt, the sun comes up, turning the troll into stone. Colin figures that he's triumphed, just as Chunt manages to grab him.
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content