Plot

After a vengeful enemy from the past appears without warning, Laszlo flees his home and goes into hiding to avoid certain death.

An old nemesis comes looking for Laszlo, and Laszlo goes "undercover" as a human bar owner in Christon, Pennsylvania, to avoid being killed. Meanwhile, Colin puts the moves on a grief-stricken and horny Najda, and the nemesis finds Laszlo but doesn't recognize him in his cunning disguise.—Gislef

In the front yard of the residence, the vampires have Guillermo use spray paint Xs on the ground where bodies are buried. Nandor thinks that it's a game and he's "winning", and Guillermo is having them do it because postmen and other visitors tend to fall in the resulting sinkholes.

Jim the Vampire throws a dagger, shattering Laszlo's lantern, and drops out of the sky laughing. Jim says that he's waited ages and now he has Laszlo corner, and Nandor invites him to kill Guillermo rather than him. Nandor is relived when Jim says that he's there for Laszlo. Jim removes his hood, and Laszlo doesn't recognize him. The arrival says that he rented Laszlo a guest room in California, and Laszlo remembers that he went to California to make a deal with the Devil at a crossroads to become a much better guitarist. But he was misinformed because the Devil's Crossroads are in Mississippi.

Laszlo skipped out without paying Jim the last month's rent and the security deposit. The local vampire points out that someone left a floater in his toilet, but Jim doesn't care and has spent 160 years searching for Laszlo. Laszlo refuses to pay and says that he'll do duel Jim, and the two vampires circle each other, snarling. Nandor declare the rules of the vampire duel, and when they pace away from each other, back to back, Laszlo runs away. Jim goes after him but goes into a sinkhole,

Going to a prepared room at a motel, Laszlo removes a cash box from the air vent and sends a letter to Nadja saying that he has prepared for a night where he had to flee an angry pursuer. He bids Nadja goodbye because he has to disappear forever, puts on a human disguise he has prepared, and goes to a county ^ western bar in Clairton, Pennsylvania to work as a bartender. Laszlo killed the previous owner of the Lucky Brew and took over the bar, and goes by the name of Jack Daytona. He cheers on the local volleyball team and they've turned their performance around because of his support.

Laszlo beats up a bunch of bikers on a ride for Toys For Tots, and everyone thinks he's modest because he's covered up all the mirrors in the bar. Everyone is inspired by "Jackie", and are unaware that Laszlo spends his days in a meat locker away from the sun.

On the night of the regional volleyball finals, Laszlo hosts a celebration at his bar and Coach Swanson especially thanks Laszlo as the heart and soul of the team. However, they can't afford the entrance fee due to state budget cuts. Laszlo smashes a glass in anger and goes outside to get some air. When he goes back in later, the waitress Lucy tells him that he has a big heart and wishes she understood him since he's so mysterious. She wishes there was some way to help the volleyball team, and sings to herself. Laszlo hears her and sets up a talent show in the bar to raise money for the entrance fee. He hypnotizes people into taking leaflets and demonstrates his skill at shadow puppetry.

At the residence, the vampires play cars and Nadja breaks into tears and runs out. Colin goes to comfort her, and Nadja bemoans how she can't play cards when her husband Lazlo is suffering. He tells her that she doesn't have to be lonely and tries to give her a comforting kiss, and Nadja backs away and says no. Colin says that he was just feeding on the awkwardness of a rejected kiss, and quickly excuses herself. He tries to kiss the Nadja doll but it rejects him as well.

Jim goes to the bar and Laszlo recognizes him. His former landlord doesn't recognize Laszlo, and Jim talks about how he's just passing through. He finally says that he's hunting a shady character in the area, Laszlo, and Laszlo says that he'll keep his eyes peeled for him. Jim thanks him and asks him to give him a call, leaving his card. Laszlo calls Jim by name and Jim picks up on it, asking Laszlo how he knows his name. The vampire points out that it's printed on his card and Jim, satisfied, leaves.

Laszlo figures that he should get out of town, but he made a promise to Clairton and isn't going to flee.

On the night of the talent show, Laszlo MCs the show and tells the crowd that they've raised the money to send the team to state. Lucy sings after thanking Laszlo for giving her the strength to perform in public. Jim is in the crowd, and sit down to the bar opposite Laszlo. Laszlo figures the jig is up, and Jim says that he was so heartbroken for the team that he decided to come back and give them some money. He tells Laszlo that the fundraiser has been his only source of hope in some time, and Jim orders a martini.

Jim finally recognizes Laszlo and says that his punishment won't be swift. When they reveal their fans and hiss at each other, everyone realizes that they're vampires and panic, while Lazlo leaps over the bar and attacks Jim. The two vampires grab cue sticks and fight, then break them in half and make crosses. They burn themselves, and Laszlo drinks some alcohol, sets it on fire, and spits the flames at Jim. It only sets the bar on fire, and everyone runs out.

The two vampires sit down to talk, and Laszlo points out that the team suffered for their hatred and obsession. He says that he will pay his debt to Jim in full, and offers Jim the Billy Bass from the bar wall, claiming it's the only one of its kind. Jim accepts the fish, intrigued by its "beauty", and leaves.

Laszlo wakes up Lucy, who fainted, and tells her that he's leaving. He points out that it would never have worked between them because he's married and a vampire, and smashes his truck into a wall when he drives off. He admits to the crew that he never learned to drive, then flies back to the residence. Nadja greets him enthusiastically, and Nandor greets him less so. Laszlo goes back to the bar later, burns it down, and donates the insurance money to the team. One of the wait staff was in the building, and Laszlo burned down another building to pay for his staff member's funeral, and he hypnotized the entire town to forget vampires ever existed. Laszlo also put in a good word so Jim would get the position as assistant coach.

Posing as Jackie, Laszlo goes to Nadja's bedroom for a bit of sexual roleplay.

When the team misses a shot, Jim accidentally breaks Billy Bass and cries in anguish. When Swanson says that she'll get him a new one, Jim realizes that Laszlo lied about Billy Bass being the only one of its kind.