Don't Look Up (2021)

Jonah Hill: Jason Orlean

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Quotes 

• Kate Dibiasky : Am I to understand correctly that, after all the information you've received today, the decision you're making is to "sit tight and assess"?

  Jason Orlean : I'm sorry, who is she?

  Kate Dibiasky : Who the fuck are you? Aren't you her son?

  Jason Orlean : I'm the fucking Chief of Staff, Boy with the Dragon Tattoo. So I'm doing fine.

• Jason Orlean : There's dope stuff, like material stuff, like sick apartments and watches, and cars, um, and clothes and shit that could all go away and I don't wanna see that stuff go away. So I'm gonna say a prayer for that stuff. Amen.

• President Orlean : Mmm-hmm. So how certain is this?

  Dr. Randall Mindy : There's 100% certainty of impact.

  President Orlean : Please, don't say 100%.

  Old Aide #2 : Can we just call it a potentiality significant event?

  President Orlean : Yeah.

  Kate Dibiasky : But it isn't *potentially* going to happen. It *is* going to happen.

  Dr. Randall Mindy : Exactly, 99.78% to be exact.

  Jason Orlean : Oh, great. Okay, so it's not 100%.

  Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe : Well, scientists never like to say 100%.

  President Orlean : Call it 70% and let's just move on.

  Kate Dibiasky : But it's not even close to 70%.

  President Orlean : You cannot go around saying to people that there's 100% chance that they're going to die. You know? It's just nuts.

• [last lines] 

  Jason Orlean : What' up, y'all? I'm the last man on Earth. Shit's all fucked up. Don't forget to like and subscribe. We out here.

• Jason Orlean : Man... I timed this Molly perfectly.

• Jason Orlean : [to Kate]  You do not have clearance for this, sweetheart. Don't trip. I got you some crackers, some waters...

  [throws them onto ground] 

  Dr. Randall Mindy : You don't need to throw it on the floor.

• Kate Dibiasky : Can I say something?

  Jason Orlean : Yeah, we've been dying to hear what you gotta say.

  Kate Dibiasky : I didn't vote for you. But this is obviously much bigger than my misgivings. So I will be 100% behind this effort. No matter how offensive I may find you.

  President Orlean : Hmm. Wow. That's great.

  Jason Orlean : Yeah. That's really nice. You know, I did have the FBI put that bag over your head. They don't do that. The CIA does, but I made them do it.

  Kate Dibiasky : You know, I had a feeling. I really did.

  Jason Orlean : It's a good feeling 'cause that is what I did. And it was very funny and cool.

• Jason Orlean : I wrote that.

  Kate Dibiasky : Isn't that from Saving Private Ryan?

  Dr. Randall Mindy : Yes. Yes.

  Jason Orlean : No, that's something totally different.

• Jason Orlean : People are gonna ask why we didn't act earlier. So you're gonna have to take the hit on this one.

  President Orlean : Yeah, but we'll take care of you down the road, Jocelyn.

  Jason Orlean : We will.

  Dr. Calder : Of course, Janie. I will resign in disgrace first thing tomorrow.

  President Orlean : Good. Yeah, good.

• Kate Dibiasky : What if we have to go to the bathroom?

  Jason Orlean : We'll lay out some newspaper for you. Grab you a can of Febreze.