Burlesque (I) (2010)

Cher: Tess

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tess : [upon seeing a nauseous Georgia emerge from the bathroom stall]  Oh, God, Georgia. Tell me you don't have the flu.

  [Georgia shakes her head and starts crying] 

  Tess : Oh no... please have the flu!

• Sean : [talking about the money Tess needs to save the club]  It's just money. It's just a number.

  Tess : I know, but... do you think I could do it?

  [Sean shakes his head] 

  Tess : Tell me a lie.

  Sean : I need your expert sewing skills.

  Tess : Tell me a *new* lie.

  Sean : I don't love you.

• Tess : They'll come to hear HER sing.

• Vince : Have you read this letter from the bank?

  Tess : Vincent. How many times have I told you? No business during business hours.

• Tess : He didn't even look me in the eye! He just sat there playing with his wooden thingy on his desk.

  Sean : What thingy?

  Tess : The long wooden block thingy.

  Sean : The nameplate?

  Tess : Yeah. Nameplate.

• Tess : You didn't tell me you could sing like that!

• Vince : I may not be "Mr. Tess" anymore, but I still own half this place.

  Tess : Mr. Tess?

  [pause] 

  Tess : That is *so* hot.

  Vince : Nice. But it won't pay the bills.

• Tess : [Ali is auditioning]  Hey Dave, cut it.

  Ali Rose : H-hold on a second, I can do this!

  Tess : And I think that it's sweet that you think that you can.

• Sean : [talking about Ali's audition]  Well, I couldn't keep my eyes off her.

  Tess : Try harder.

• Vince : This isn't going away. You won't talk to me before the show, you won't talk to me after the show. It's like you're avoiding me.

  Tess : Well, I didn't divorce you to spend more time with you.

• Nikki : [Waiting for Tess as she is exiting the club]  Tess, we need to talk.

  Tess : No.

  Nikki : Yes!

  Tess : I'm tired, Nikki.

  Nikki : Well, then you can just listen. We built this club together and, and then, some girl just shows up from out of nowhere, who hasn't even paid her dues - -!

  Tess : How do you know what dues she's paid? This chick doesn't sing that way because she's had it easy.

  Nikki : "They don't come to here us sing, Nikki"! Or... or, or, is that... is that just bullshit, now?

  Tess : You know, you're drunk. Go inside and call a cab.

  Nikki : I WILL NOT BE UPSTAGED BY SOME SLUT WITH MUTANT LUNGS!

  Tess : Then leave!

  Nikki : [Gasps]  You'd ruin our friendship over some girl you barely know? So much for loyalty!

  Tess : Since when did you know anything about loyalty? How many Goddamn times have I peeled you off the sidewalk? How many blackouts? How many times have I held your head over the toilet bowl while you threw up everything, but your memories?

  Nikki : OKAY FINE! But I will not stand in the back, Tess, you need to fix this-...

  Tess : You think you're my only problem? I'm about to lose my club! I'm about to lose the only thing that means anything to me! I have more to worry about than trying to keep you from pouring Tequila on your Cheerios!

  Nikki : Fine. Fine. I QUIT!

  Tess : I'm glad!

  [Nikki gets into her car and starts the engine] 

  Tess : Nikki, don't drive.

  Nikki : By the way, I slept with Vince the night after your honeymoon.

  [She makes a U-Turn and begins driving off in a rage, with Tess bashing Nikki's backdoor window with a crowbar] 

  Nikki : YOU CRAZY BITCH!

• Tess : And don't ever go behind my back again.

  Ali Rose : Yes, ma'am.

  Tess : And don't ever call me ma'am again.

  Ali Rose : Yes, sir. Errr... I mean, ma'am... I mean, Tess.

  Tess : Get on the floor.

  [to Sean] 

  Tess : "Ma'am"? What am I, my mother?

  Sean : Yes, ma'am.

  Tess : Up yours.

• Marcus : You know, not that I give a shit, but why is it that you want my club so badly?

  Marcus : I like it. When I see something I like, I have to have it. Been that way since I was a kid.

  Tess : That must have made you very popular in the sandbox.

  Marcus : [grins]  I did okay.

• Vince : Do you know what you could do with that money, Tess?

  Tess : Do you know what *you* could do with that money, Vince?

  Vince : Not now...

  Tess : Don't "not now" me.

• Marcus : Remember, you got that balloon payment due on the first.

  Tess : [annoyed, to Vince]  Did you also tell him I have a tattoo on my ass?

  Vince : [earnestly]  No... it's business.

  Marcus : I don't think you're gonna get another opportunity like this. So take it.

  Tess : [after some contemplation, then firmly]  No.

  Vince : [quickly, to Marcus]  She means not now.

  Tess : No, no. "Not now" means not now, Vince. "No" means no. Marcus, I don't care what you're offering. My club is not for sale.