The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan (TV Series)

The Great Illusion Caper (1972)

Lennie Weinrib: Stanley Chan

Quotes 

• [Henry and Stanley wind up tailing Alli and Baba to a fez top convention] 

  Henry Chan : I've changed my mind, Stanley.

  Stanley Chan : You did?

  Henry Chan : Uh-huh. You ARE as dumb as I think you are.

• [Henry and Stanley unintentionally finish driving a man while disguised as a taxi] 

  Stanley Chan : Wow, what a cheapskate. He didn't even give us a tip.

  Henry Chan : Now you did it, pinhead. How are we supposed to find those two guys we were tailing?

  [Alli and Baba walk across the street] 

  Stanley Chan : They're right there. See? I'm not as dumb as you think I am, right?

  Henry Chan : Right, but only because that's not possible.

• Henry Chan : What makes you so sure Ali and Baba are guilty?

  Stanley Chan : Elementary. That missing jewel crook Hamid Bey wore a fez, and they wear fezzes, so you gotta keep your eye on anybody with a fez.

  Henry Chan : Stanley, sometimes I wonder if you're really part of this family.

  [Ali and Baba walk out] 

  Stanley Chan : There they are!

  Henry Chan : All right. We'll follow them, but I hope you're right. Let's go.

  [Stanley is now dressed as an Indian] 

  Henry Chan : What's the disguise for this time?

  Stanley Chan : So they won't recognize me.

  Henry Chan : How can they recognize you if they never saw you before?

  Stanley Chan : Next time they see me, they won't remember me from this time.

  Henry Chan : [irritated]  Just go.