- Brad Spoylt: [seizing one of the Chubbchubbs, thinking it's a toy] How does this stupid thing work? Come on, turn on, idiot! Maybe it needs a new battery.
- [shoves a battery into the Chubbchubb's rear, causing the Chubbchubb to become angry and attack him]
- Brad Spoylt: Aaah!
- Reporter: [on the news after one Chubbchubb was left behind] Breaking news! Witness describes a killer chicken attacking a boy at 1063 Maple Street.
- Meeper: [now knowing where the missing one went] Ha ha!
- Brad Spoylt: [running outside of his house towards a helicopter light] I'll never be bad or greedy ever again!
- Reporter: Hear that, America? Do be good for goodness' sake!
- Meeper: [having failed to deliver the presents] Santa, I'm sorry. I ruined Christmas.
- Santa Claus: Oh, Meeper; you actually saved every Christmas to come by weeding out that naughty hacker.
- [showing Meeper a picture of Brad Spoylt as a baby near a computer]
- Santa Claus: He's been messing up Christmas since he was a toddler!
- [to an elf]
- Santa Claus: What do we have for him, Ed?
- Elf: [presenting a mobile home] A new house!
- [the Chubbchubbs devour it]
- Meeper: Home isn't a physical place. So no matter where you are, if you're with your friends, you're home!
- Meeper: Meeper here! My Christmas wish is to have a home for me and my Chubbchubbs.
- Santa Claus: Meeper! What a kind and noble thing to offer your services. *If* you deliver all the toys to the children, I will grant your Christmas wish.
- [throws him a Santa Claus coat and a pair of briefs]
- Santa Claus: You'll need one of these and a pair of these!
- Santa Claus: [as he prepares his sled] This is going to be the best Christmas *ever*!
- [Meeper's ship flattens Santa and his sled; Santa ends up in a body cast]
- Santa Claus: This could be serious: I fractured my beard.
- Santa Claus: [on a commercial with his elves] Santa Claus is coming to town!
- [announcer voice]
- Santa Claus: That was Santa and his elves live from the North Pole, Earth's favorite Pole! If you've been good, even if you're a fish, I will grant you your Christmas wish. Log onto www.ibeengood.com.
- Meeper: [in his mind] My wish is for a real home for me and my Chubbchubbs!