Psych (TV Series)

Rob-a-Bye Baby (2007)

James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer

Photos 

Quotes 

• McNab : Listen, I got a call about two creepy dudes hanging out on the playground.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Really? I haven't seen anything, but I'll keep my eyes open.

  Shawn Spencer : Yeah, we've just been here hanging out in the bushes.

  [pause] 

  Shawn Spencer : Oh, boy...

• Karen Vick : Look, I'm trusting you both to be professional and to keep this matter completely confidential.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : You got it.

  Shawn Spencer : If you knew how many secrets I was keeping from you already, you'd totally trust me.

• Shawn Spencer : There's this dark cloud surrounding you. It's starving your chi. Yeah, and down at the station I can see a raccoon with dark circles under his eyes... no, *her* eyes. Oh God, it's the chief. Chief Vick is becoming Chief Coon, and she's... she's lashing out at everyone.

  Juliet O'Hara : That's true!

  Shawn Spencer : Especially Lassie, who in turn is taking his frustrations out on you. Look, Jules, you gotta take your chi back. Take it back! And that means doing something big, something risky, something that'll help you blow this case wide open.

  [Shawn takes off his sunglasses, gets down on one knee] 

  Shawn Spencer : Marry me, Juliet.

• Shawn Spencer : Gus, you're not going to find a nanny on the internet. If they're posting there, they're already too desperate. It's like online dating. Remember when you went on matchmaker.com?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : You mean when you posted a profile of me without my knowledge?

  Shawn Spencer : Right, and all the women who responded were complete freaks.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : That's because you said you were looking for a woman strong enough to hold me.

  Shawn Spencer : I didn't think they would take it literally.

• Shawn Spencer : Psycho there's been scribbling in her diary from the moment I walked in.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : So? Maybe she's just creative.

  Shawn Spencer : It's the same sentence over and over again. Now I don't know what that sentence is, but there is no configuration of words that would make that behavior acceptable.

• Henry Spencer : All right, which one?

  Shawn Spencer : [points to a house]  That one.

  Henry Spencer : Yeah? Well, that's a stupid house to rob.

  [beat] 

  Shawn Spencer : Does anyone live up to your standards? Maybe we can get ahold of the burglar's number. You can call him, tell him how disappointed you are.

• Abby Daniels : [after Shawn exposes her crimes]  That's ridiculous!

  Shawn Spencer : Is it as ridiculous as having a secret panel in your office where you can plan all your robberies? You had access to each and every one of those baby bonding cameras and you manipulated them. Not to check on any nannies, but to case the houses next door to capture security alarm codes so you could break into those houses undetected. I'd say that's pretty ridiculous.

  [pause] 

  Shawn Spencer : Though not as ridiculous as Denise Richards playing a nuclear physicist named Christmas Jones in a Bond movie. But still!

• Juliet O'Hara : [while undercover with Shawn at a nanny agency]  Well, we had our little Millicent in a home birth with a midwife. And then Levon burried my placenta in the back yard.

  Juliet O'Hara : [some minutes later]  So getting any psychic vibrations off of your two suspects yet, Levon?

  Shawn Spencer : I got thrown off picturing your placenta.

• Shawn Spencer : Dude, this blows, with a capital Z.

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : Look over there. The one in the overalls, she seems to be using reverse psychology on the ten-year-old, which is actually a pretty good idea.

  Shawn Spencer : You know what's not a good idea?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : What?

  Shawn Spencer : Pineapple and movie popcorn-flavored jelly beans.

  [spits out the candy] 

  Shawn Spencer : That's disgusting.

• [trying to guess what their "important" case might be] 

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I know what it is. Last night on the news, I heard something about a blimp.

  Shawn Spencer : Blimp rides.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Blimp rides!

  Shawn Spencer : Shotgun.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : You can't call shotgun on a blimp!

  Shawn Spencer : You can call shotgun anywhere except a crowded movie theater.

• Henry Spencer : This was not a crime of chance, Shawn... that house was chosen for a reason.

  Shawn Spencer : [in a dramatic tone]  There can only be one.

  Henry Spencer : What?

  Shawn Spencer : What? I thought we were doing lines from Highlander. My bad.

  Henry Spencer : Let's get out of here.

  Shawn Spencer : [in a Scottish tone]  Wait. That sensational feeling? That is the quickening.

  Henry Spencer : Everyone can do Connery. Your Lambert sucks.

  Shawn Spencer : At least I have a Lambert...

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : You mean, after I scoured the city and couldn't find anyone, you just stumbled upon a nanny responsible enough for chief Vick?

  Shawn Spencer : That I did.

  Henry Spencer : [holding and talking to the baby while attracting a whole group of nannies in the play yard]  Give me a little... whoop... whoop.

  Shawn Spencer : And you gotta admit - the man knows how to work a baby.

  Henry Spencer : [suddenly spots Shawn]  Shawn!

  Shawn Spencer : [to Gus]  Don't look back. Just keep walking.

  Henry Spencer : Shawn! Shawn! Where are you going? Come on, you said five minutes! Don't... Don't you dare leave! Shawn!

  Henry Spencer : [suddenly looks at the baby]  I'm smelling something really foul coming out of this thing!

• Shawn Spencer : I need to get more information on those two nannies from the park. Maybe get into that agency where they both work.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : And how do you plan on doing that? It's not like you can pretend you're a nanny. The agency does do extensive security checks on who they hire.

  Shawn Spencer : But not necessarily on the parents who hire them. Come on, buddy, what do you say? Do a little cameo in "My Two Dads"?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : That show was canceled for a reason, Shawn. I'm sorry, you're going to have to find someone else to co-parent with.

  Shawn Spencer : I was going to let you be Greg Evigan.

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : Nannies are essential parts of today's working nuclear families.

  Shawn Spencer : They're babysitters who drive.

• Shawn Spencer : She said "Big" and "Top Secret." That's two of our favorite eighties movies!

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : None of these nannies will talk to me. Even the kids are avoiding me. Tell me the truth. Do I smell weird?

  Shawn Spencer : Nah, just the usual jerk chicken and new car smell.

• [touring a crime scene] 

  Shawn Spencer : So this is where Mr. Teatime got steeped.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : That doesn't even make sense.

  Shawn Spencer : Got brewed? Got teabagged?

• [Shawn and Gus learn their important case] 

  Karen Vick : It involves a nanny.

  Shawn Spencer : Nanny serial killer? Nanny on the run?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Nanny arsonist?

  Shawn Spencer : Does she drive a blimp, by chance?

  Karen Vick : No. I need you to hire me a nanny.