The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Luminous Fish Effect (2007)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : Oh, my God, this is the best cobbler I've ever had.

  Mary : It was always Sheldon's favorite. You know what the secret ingredient is?

  Penny : Love?

  Mary : Lard.

• Penny : How come you didn't go into work today?

  Sheldon : I'm taking a sabbatical, because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds.

  Penny : So you got canned, huh?

  Sheldon : Theoretical physicists do not get canned... but, yeah.

• Sheldon : The thing about tomatoes - and I think you'll really enjoy this - is they're shelved with the vegetables, but they're technically a fruit.

  Penny : Mm, interesting.

  Sheldon : Isn't it?

  Penny : No, I mean what you find enjoyable.

• Penny : When one door closes another one opens.

  Sheldon : No it doesn't. Not unless the two doors are connected by relays or there are motion sensors involved.

• Sheldon : There are a lot of advantages to buying in bulk. For example, I noticed that you purchase your tampons one-month supply at a time.

  Penny : What?

  Sheldon : Think about it. It's a product that doesn't spoil and you're going to be needing them for at least the next 30 years.

  Penny : You want me to buy 30 years worth of tampons?

  Sheldon : Well, 30, 35... When did your mother go into menopause?

  Penny : I'm not talking about this with you.

  Sheldon : This is a natural human process, and we're talking about statistically significant savings. Now, if you assume 15 tampons per cycle and a 28-day cycle... Are you fairly regular?

• Mary Cooper : I remember one summer when he was 13. He built a small nuclear reactor in the shed and told everybody he was gonna provide free electricity for the whole town. Well, the only problem was, he had no what you call fissionable materials. Anyway, when he went on the internets to get some, a man from the government come by and sat him down real gentle and told him it's against the law to have yellow-cake uranium in a shed.

  Penny : What happened?

  Mary Cooper : Well, poor boy had a fit. Locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray.

  Leonard Hofstadter : A death ray?

  Mary Cooper : Well that's what he called it. Didn't even slow down the neighbor kids. It pissed our dog off to no end.

• Sheldon Cooper : Let me do the math for you. This car weighs, lest say 4000 pounds. Now add 140 for me, 120 for you.

  Penny : 120?

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth?

  Penny : Well, yeah.

• Mary Cooper : You know what the secret ingredient is?

  Penny : Love?

  Mary Cooper : Lard!