How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Wait for It (2007)

Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : [Ted is unaware that he has a butterfly tattoo on his lower back]  As you can see, I do just fine on my own. I don't need a baby-sitter.

  Barney Stinson : See. All this time, I thought you need a wingman to fly, but the truth is you... you've got your own wings now.

  Ted Mosby : Hmm.

  Barney Stinson : Since you and Robin split, you've been gestating. Growing in your cocoon. And last night... you burst out of that cocoon... , like a majestic, uh... gosh, what is it that comes out of a cocoon? I was always bad at science.

  Lily Aldrin : [to Marshall]  He's gonna say it.

  Ted Mosby : A butterfly?

  [Everyone laughs] 

  Ted Mosby : What?

  Barney Stinson : Nothing, buddy.

  [Barney hits Ted's tattoo] 

  Ted Mosby : Ow! Why did that hurt so...? Oh my God!

  [Looks in mirror] 

  Ted Mosby : I have a tattoo!

  Barney Stinson : Oh, that's not a tattoo. That, dear boy, is a tramp stamp.

• Lily Aldrin : [about Robin and Gael]  I mean, she isn't serious about him. The girl never marries the hot guy.

  Marshall Eriksen : Well, you did.

  Lily Aldrin : [pause]  I'm one of the lucky few.

• Barney Stinson : Not possible. You cannot have sex on a windsurfing board.

  Lily Aldrin : How do you know?

  Barney Stinson : Glad you asked Lily. I have crafted a list of every vehicle land-based, aquatic and airborne in which/on which it's possible to have sex. And of those 33 vehicles, I have had sex in/on 31. Windsurfing board, not on the list, not possible. Oh, P.S., in order to hit 33, all I need is bobsled and the Apollo 11 space capsule.

  Lily Aldrin : To get that last one, you'd have to break into the Smithsonian.

  Barney Stinson : This conversation never happened.