Astonishing Tales of Terror: Rocktapussy! (2022 Video) User Reviews

The octopus was barely in the movie

[skribs · 4/10 · 7 March 2023]

This is the kind of movie that only makes sense if you've seen a bunch of movies like it already. It's very random, very weird, with horrible writing, acting, and CGI.

The semi-titular Octopus is somewhat behind-the-scenes throughout the whole movie. But if you were expecting a giant octopus eating people as the plot of the movie, you were sorely mistaken. The movie is more like a mummy movie than a monster movie.

The biggest draw of this film is the main character's outfits, or lack thereof. On this one point, the film delivers. But it doesn't deliver in any other way. If you watch this movie, you know why you're watching it.

Low budget and not good.

[deloudelouvain · 3/10 · 21 November 2022]

Astonishing Tales Of Terror: Rocktapussy, it's one of those titles that attracts your attention, but that make you highly suspicious about the quality of the movie. Since it was categorized in the Fantasy genre, a genre that is most of the times highly entertaining when it's made well I gave it a shot. I can't say that was a good decision. It's all very low budget, with a lot of scenes that make no logical sense at all, and with actors that should not give up their regular day jobs if they even have one. It's basically all about the boobs of Brigitte Kingsley, that will get your attention, but the rest is just below average, mediocre at best.

Girl boss, cheese fest meets the poorly rendered CGI octopus

[stevelivesey-37183 · 3/10 · 10 July 2023]

I am going be honest. I didn't understand a great deal of it. That's probably because I was messing with my phone ten minutes into this nonsense.

I will give it its due, it doesn't take itself seriously.

Brigitte Kingsleys cleavage, boobs, body and underwear are supposedly the star of the show here which is kind of weird because her husband is the writer and director who clearly doesn't mind writing his wife into scenes were she enters into one night stands, gets tied up, and appears in the scantiest of costumes. At one point I did think what's it like to have your hobby as your job!

Skip it, you won't miss anything.

Since when is nudity a skill?

[purple_diver · 2/10 · 15 June 2023]

Astonishing Tales of Terror: Rocktapussy! Is truly contender for the most planted reviews, which credit the film with a higher than deserved rating because of the lead's partial nudity! It's truly astonishing that anyone would consider nudity a skill, or that any sort of film as poorly acted and directed would be given anything higher than a 2/10. Aside from the fact that the storyline I flimsy to the point of annoyance, there's the lack of direction, horrible creature effects, and sickeningly wooden dialogue. It's quite obvious that the bulk of this movie is the non-skill of being a fit woman. I'm sorry, Ms Kingsley, you couldn't act your way out of your own clothes. Avoid this stunningly horrible time waster.

Astonishing indeed ... well

[kosmasp · 5/10 · 11 March 2023]

No pun intended - this really is in the eye of the beholder. How much can you take of this? How many legs does this have to stand on? None obviously since it is an immortal being without legs, but that is besides the point - or maybe another pun ... and if you liked that - thought it was funny ... then maybe, just maybe, the movie is something you can watch without being annoyed or cringing too much.

There is violence in here, there is .. some sort of nudity in here too. And kudos to the main actress. She plays off of her beauty and does not care about what others say - that is true of her character of course. Undercover much? Well not so many things that are covering her ... ah yes another pun. One that the movie uses too btw .. anyway, this is special ... in a few way ... and yet maybe not special enough. Probably watch the trailer first before you embark ... this may explode in your face otherwise ... and with this pun, I bid you farewell.

If Hallmark made horror movies

[joelsax47 · 4/10 · 6 January 2024]

I kid you not. This has a professional woman teaming up with a miner to defeat a monster that looks like a three eyed Cthulhu. It meshes with the classic sci fi exploitation schlock by clothing the heroine (said professional woman) in a bikini. It evokes Manga by including tentacles! But there is no snow and no Christmas tree in the deep Canadian mine which inexplicably includes a temple with a sacrificial stone upon which the heroine finds herself. Her miner friend is a bit of a ditz which I think is meant as a bone to be tossed to the feminists who might be watching. (I don't think any intelligent woman - - or man - - would buy this story.)

I'm a fan of Alliteration

[nogodnomasters · 7/10 · 15 December 2022]

The film opens in Northern Ontario in the Morgan Mines 5/5/57. Three miners find a tunnel system and follow it through. They discover the Rocktapus which attacks them. The creature looked a horseshoe crab most of the time. Most likely inspired by the 1957 film, "Attack of the Crab Monsters" with its mind tricks. The name of the female lead was Martha Hunter. In this film it is Hunter Hazelton (Brigitte Kingsley) who we see dancing on a table in a bikini for the unsuspecting mayor. She is really working "under cover" and is a reporter. We discover Annie Markowitz (Sara Mitich) is a rival reporter, now dating her ex-bf. The next story that they both cover is the reopening of the East Mine where we encounter the creature again.

The film is science-fiction comedy with ham acting appropriate for the genre. The script was mildly funny with one LOL moment. There are innuendoes in the dialogue between Hunter and Carey (Landy Cannon) that are not highlighted or stresses as others. Good film for very "B" movie and cleavage fans.

Guide: F-word. No sex .Nudity (Brigitte Kingsley +Landy Cannon butt)

Wow

[lleytongardner · 9/10 · 23 January 2023]

The plot is just out of left field. You question why you watched this but its so stupid can't stop. Like idk who came up with the plot but i want to know what gave them the idea to even make this. Some of the jokes are pretty good the one jealous report chick should of died earlier like just get her out of the film. Super annoying. Cgi was questionable at times but wasn't the worse thing ive seen. Some acting was bad all and all the movie took me on a roller coaster of a story ride. I didn't expect to go from a mining creature, to a reporter, to an octopus, to undead mummy parasites, to demons, to an whatever that hell scene was, to a bomb. All and all pretty entertaining.

Better than expected

[teepack-75312 · 7/10 · 26 December 2022]

You never know what you'll get with independent, low-budget films, but this one was better than I expected. A cross between a 1950s alien movie and a fantasy-horror flick, it won't win any awards, but it was entertaining enough to keep me interested. The acting was mostly good, the production was stylish and titillation factor was high, thanks to Brigitte Kingsley's willingness to put it all out there. The plot was as thin as some of her outfits, but that's not why you invest 90 minutes of your life in a movie like this. The script included many humorous lines. The story held together for the most part, and the special effects were good enough. If you're looking for something you'll tell your friends they should watch so you can sound like a pretentious cinephile, this ain't it. But if you're looking to be amused for 90 minutes, I highly recommend. Just don't watch with your wife or girlfriend.

Silly, nuts and lots of fun.

[okpilak · 7/10 · 2 July 2023]

This is what a good low budget B movie is all about. A story that is total nonsense, and characters that do not take their roles seriously. And really cheesy special effects. There is a breakthrough by three men in a mine, into a series of room, which turns out to be a bad idea, and only one survives, the other two taken by a creature. Meanwhile, Hunter, a reporter with her camera man Cam, are undercover at a strip joint, and Hunter, as a pole dancer, manages to catch the mayor as a fraud, corrupt as can be. Her rival, Annie, an airhead, and co-reporter Declan, equally dumb, provide fluff pieces, and Annie doesn't even know the name of her camera man. Years later, the closed off area of the mine is intended to be opened, using a special Russian invented laser. The sole survivor warns against opening that area, and when ignored, detonates a suicide vest, trapping everyone. The survivors have to try and find a way to escape. The creatures mostly seen are a cross between a trilobite and horseshoe crab, and can turn people into zombies. And if the creature escapes, it is doom for the human race. It is nutty, it is silly but it is also fun entertainment. Just don't try and make sense out of anything.

Canuxploitation that revels in its own syrupy goodness

[Vvardenfell_Man · 10/10 · 11 September 2023]

This movie really shines if you watch it after another movie made by Brigitte Kingsley. Her skills as a filmmaker have really improved over time. Andrew Cymek has learned to write roles that play to her strengths.

If you haven't seen any of her other movies, you'll be a little bit confused about how this thing got made. Rest assured, there is a tried and true production model behind it. This is an incredibly well-put-together project for what it is, which is a basically 100% independently financed Canadian action/horror schlockfest. The budget bleeds all over the screen in places--some of the visual effects are almost too good, to the point where some of the performances almost don't warrant them--but that's hard to complain about when they're not actually detracting from the movie in any way. If that's how the filmmakers chose to spend their money, instead of hiring C- or B-list talent, that's fine. Clearly, they were having fun, and that earns the movie a lot of points.

There are moments that don't make sense, like the scene where the protagonist appears to be stabbed through the abdomen by a tentacle before going on to win the movie as if that particular moment just never happened, but maybe I'll piece that moment together on rewatch. If you're looking for something different and don't mind watching an ego stroke itself onscreen, this is a fine way to spend a couple hours. Take notes, Neil Breen!