- Sarah Walker: Look, maybe you should stay here.
- Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, cause that always works out well.
- John Casey: You sure it was Magnus you saw?
- Chuck Bartowski: Gee, I don't know, Casey, how many psycho archers do *you* know?
- Sarah Walker: It says here the crossbow is his weapon of choice.
- Chuck Bartowski: Oh, what, slingshot's too ineffective?
- Chuck Bartowski: [seeing the NSA chief on the TV] Wow, that new high-def screen sure shows every wrinkle.
- John Casey: [General Beckman looks up through the screen] They can hear you.
- Chuck Bartowski: What? Twinkle! Every twinkle... in her eye... Eyes.
- Chuck Bartowski: You didn't offer to kill Harry for Anna, did you?
- John Casey: No. Why, you want me to kill him?
- Chuck Bartowski: No. No, just curious.
- Captain Awesome: Chuck, come on, man. Lemme make it up to you, bro. Get up.
- Chuck Bartowski: Ow!
- Captain Awesome: I got you a ticket for the game.
- Chuck Bartowski: Wow,
- [still in pain]
- Chuck Bartowski: thanks. But, uh, Sarah and I already have plans.
- Captain Awesome: [frowns] It's your alma mater, dude.
- Chuck Bartowski: Look, no offence, but I'd rather get hit... in the produce section... *again*... than go back to that place.
- Chuck Bartowski: I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I have to go back to Stanford.
- John Casey: Cool.
- Kevin Rex: Plant a Stanford tree. Create a renewable resource for your children's future.
- John Casey: You wanna save our environment, huh? Take a shower, hippie.
- Chuck Bartowski: [Referring to his all-black attire] Nice job blending in with the crowd. Who you rooting for, death?
- Chuck Bartowski: No more Wednesday/Friday surf and turf?
- Morgan Grimes: Harry Tang is drunk with power!
- Anna Wu: He could have an accident.
- [everyone looks at her]
- Anna Wu: I'm just saying, I know a guy, very reasonable.
- [Morgan and Chuck look at her incredulously]
- Anna Wu: His rates, I mean. Not him.
- Morgan Grimes: Way to think outside of the box, Anna! Me likey! What do you say, Chuck?
- Chuck Bartowski: Are you two crazy? What? No! I'm not gonna have a guy rubbed out just because he upsets our lunch routine!
- Anna Wu: All right. We all know the game. We all know the rules. This is Fingers of Fury. The win goes to the contestant who can identify the most TV shows in a minute.
- [to Lester]
- Anna Wu: All right, who do you want next?
- Lester: I challenge the ruling champion, Morgan Grimes!
- Morgan Grimes: That's Mr. Morgan Grimes, if you're nasty.
- Jeff: Oh, the suspense.
- Morgan Grimes: You don't want me, punk.
- Lester: Oh yes, I do.
- Morgan Grimes: Challenge accepted.
- Morgan Grimes: Chuck, we have an emergency. We need to talk.
- Chuck Bartowski: I'm on the phone.
- Morgan Grimes: Shh, not here, not here. There are spies at the Buy More.
- Chuck Bartowski: [hangs up the phone] Spies, really?
- Morgan Grimes: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tang's minions, man. They're everywhere! He's like the dark Lord Sauron from Lord of the Rings. Only instead of the ring of power he's taken over control of the assistant managership.
- Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, from me. Right, thanks for the reminder.
- Morgan Grimes: You got it, man. Listen, we need your help, Chuck.
- Chuck Bartowski: Help, what am I supposed to do? I'm, I'm just...
- Morgan Grimes: ...One small hobbit? So thought Frodo Baggins, my friend. So thought Frodo Baggins!
- Chuck Bartowski: [looking at a picture from a traffic camera] That's Fleming.
- John Casey: [sarcastically] Thanks, you just saved me a lot of investigative work there, Intersect. The DMV told me that.
- John Casey: List off the numbers you remember.
- Chuck Bartowski: I don't know, there were like ten of them. A couple a nines. A five, definitely started with a two.
- John Casey: That's it? You've got a computer for a brain...
- Chuck Bartowski: Look, it was a very stressful situation, okay, Casey? I watched a guy get skewered by a crossbow.
- Stanford Librarian: Hey, you, don't move. Charles Bartowski! You still owe the library $294.68 in late fees.
- Chuck Bartowski: Do... Do you take credit cards?
- Morgan Grimes: I may be able to fix it. For a price.
- [Harry looks at him quizzically]
- Morgan Grimes: I want out of The Hole.
- Harry Tang: I'd rather take a potato peeler to my groin.
- Chuck Bartowski: [while being shot at] Don't you think this would be a great time for me to be waiting in the car?
- Chuck Bartowski: I'm sorry, but was Harry wearing a new assistant manager polo shirt?
- Morgan Grimes: It's monogrammed.
- Chuck Bartowski: He must be stopped.
- Anna Wu: Assistant Manager Tang?
- Harry Tang: I'm busy.
- Anna Wu: I'd like your opinion about how we could streamline our standing work orders to operate move efficiently.
- Harry Tang: That's an admirable goal, young lady.
- Anna Wu: You know, your new position of authority has changed you.
- [She starts touching him]
- Anna Wu: You look... different. Maybe it's the new monogrammed shirt. Maybe it's just the cut of your slacks.
- [She grabs his leg]
- Anna Wu: I hope you plan to make other changes around the Buy More. In fact, I can't wait for your next massive... invasive... move...
- [She takes a pair of pliers from underneath her blouse behind her back. Lester, who is hiding under the desk, holds out the chain key hanging from Harry's pocket and Anna cuts the key to Harry's locker]
- Harry Tang: Well, uh, for starters, I think that the staff sits around too far... far too often.
- Anna Wu: Thank you.
- Morgan Grimes: [to the customers, who are throwing stuff at him] Throwing things at adults' heads is not the way to the... It's not gonna help you in life.