Virgin School

James Riley is 26 years old. His only source of income is delivering the local free paper door-to-door. He lives with his Dad and his Dad's girlfriend in Kent. Oh, and he's still a virgin. In the UK, James is outside of the 96% of men who have lost their virginity by 25 and a few years outside the average age of 18 for having sex for the first time. To help overcome his reservations, fears and total inexperience with women, James enrols on a course in Amsterdam run by Aquarian – a "school" for men to be coached through intimacy, sexuality and life skills and, if they complete the course then they will lose their virginity to one of the coaches.

Look, I have sympathy with James. I am reasonably rubbish with women socially even if I've never been particularly shy about being naked or having sex, but I was never that sexually active until outside my teenage years. So I do feel for Buffy and X-Files fan James because it is not easy to be a virgin in a society where sex is everywhere. I watched this with this in mind and I do admit that in some ways the "course" was useful to James in building his confidence etc but then on the flip side I varied from laughing to watching open-mouthed throughout this film.

The course itself is a hilariously new-age load of nonsense that I witnessed in a "what a world we live in" way. Women in their fifties, rub James and get him used to being on a bed with a woman etc before, at the end of the course, a (marginally) younger coach "completes" the course with James. It is hilarious but unintentionally so. Then on the other side I struggled to believe what I was watching – not in a moral outage way so much as just what I was watching (although it could easily have been the former – this show would keep the Daily Mail in "to hell in a handcart" headlines for months). With all the angles of soft-core pornography, we see skinny and pale James masturbated to completion as well as staring deep into an elderly woman's vagina to familiarise himself with it. It is hard to believe you're watching it and harder to understand why.

For all the horrifying images we see, there are plenty of hilarious ones. I know that I should applaud the way James sheds his inhibitions but seeing him stiffly doing a sexless strip dance, it was hard to do anything but laugh and cry at the same time! Speaking of inhibitions, it struck me as very odd that the shy and inexperienced James would allow all this to be filmed and that niggled me all the way through the film because no explanation is offered. So he is nervous about the size of his penis but is happy to let it be broadcast on national television for all to see? Very shy about even being touched by a woman but fine with us all seeing his toes literally curling as he enjoys his first orgasm in the company of someone else? It didn't totally wash with me and just seemed weird. It doesn't help that the film isn't really clear about its aims, because it makes the (quite explicit) sexual nature just seem an end in itself.

Overall then, a hypnotically horrific and unintentionally hilarious film that offers little in the way of interest other than the shock/curiosity value of seeing what you see. The idea of James allowing all this to be filmed doesn't wash with the character we are told he is and director Humphreys doesn't really manage to make it come together on the screen.

Apparently, losing your virginity is such a big issue and a massive step into "becoming a man", that there is a course in Amsterdam that allows students to enrol and lose their virginity. This documentary follows one 26-year old man's quest in losing his virginity by completing the course. Understandably, there is some good to be had in this course. It allows those who have anxiety when dealing with sex to overcome this overbearing obstacle. But, this documentary doesn't focus on that. No, it instead focuses on the immediate thirst for losing one's virginity. Feeding the typical heterosexual's complex that is corrupting young people today. Losing one's virginity is not a big issue. It isn't. And unfortunately films and documentaries like this won't let this non-issue disappear.

However, that's not what makes this film pointless. It acts as advertisement for this course, which is fine. But once this "boy becomes a man" and completes the course, he actually says a line that omits the entire existence of this documentary and the course it loving shows off. "After completing the course, I had a revelation. I realise that sex is not essential". I paused, went back a few seconds and heard it again. He literally demolished the purpose of this course in one sentence, yet probably paid thousands of pounds just to lose his virginity to someone he has no attraction to. The course won't change his mentality when he meets someone he is actually attracted to. It's just a status change. Enabling him to say "yeah, I've had a sex. I'm a man now". Oh give me a break. An anger inducing piece of stupidity that is a clear indicator of how ridiculous social normality has become.

There are probably going to be two reactions to this movie. There will be a group that thinks it's a sensitive portrayal of what to many is a crushing emotional burden. There will also be a group that thinks the whole thing is silly and pretentious.

I fall into the former group. Having been a 29-year-old virgin, I know firsthand the psychological anguish it can cause, and the incredible blossoming of one's life that can occur when one finally "does it." Members of the first group, learning that they are not the only one in the world with these issues, may get hope from watching the movie and learn to be more gentle with themselves.

Those in the latter group can't ever fully understand what that is like, but I hope they can view the movie with empathy. It's easy to belittle the plight of others, but that keeps one from learning anything, both about others and about oneself.

A 26yr old man, James, who by all descriptions and viewpoints is obviously on the spectrum (autistic) - pays a school of old ladies to teach him about sex and to lose his virginity. It was awkward to see a grown man be so awkward sexually...but I am learning more and more that this day in age, there are MANY 'James' out there. Men who are socially awkward, outcasts, experienced extreme rejection, and have no luck with females...but remain virgins (unwillingly). I think the idea of coaching them is great! The women that do the coaching, uh, not so great. I found a lot of this funny, as it really is odd to see a 26yr old man that had no clue about a woman or even being touched himself. It really it sad. But I applaud James for putting himself out there.

The "school for virgins", a place in Amsterdam that helps men who have not successfully been with a woman, are run by people who genuinely are reducing the suffering of the world. In a world where sexual frustration is one of the great evils of our society, I would welcome more work like this splendid documentary. Sexual frustration is something that should be identified as the health issue it is.

We meet James, a 26 year old virgin that embarks on his 'education' to unlearn his fear of women, and to be comfortable with his own body. His personality has many characteristics considered unattractive by women. As the education progresses, we see him build up an amount of confidence. Through it all, James shows us incredible courage, to talk openly about the very issues that he has been ridiculed for since his days in school. This movie is making a simple statement about sex. The vast majority of us all need it. It is a basic need, and without it, we are not likely to find happiness or love.

If everyone lost their virginity at 16, would we have less mental illness? Maybe even, less people willing to blow themselves up for 72 virgins in the afterlife.

The movie also makes you think about prostitution in a different way. It does not mention that in the Netherlands, prostitution is legal and considered by the majority of the population as a proper occupation, and not as deviant behavior (prostitutes may join workers unions). While it is far better to make love, then to simply have sex, there are those who are not fortunate to have that luxury. The tension that builds up as a result from 26 years of involuntary celibacy does not help in finding a girl-friend.