Psych (TV Series)
Psy vs. Psy (2007)
Lou Diamond Phillips: Special Agent Lars Ewing
Photos
Quotes
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Special Agent Lars Ewing : This goes against every federal bone in my body, but who are you guys?
Shawn Spencer : I'm not familiar with the federal bone. Is that connected to the hip bone or the knee bone?
Special Agent Lars Ewing : Well, I can tell you what the knee bone is going to connect with if you don't get out of my way.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'm gonna guess not the funny bone?
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[Ewing and Lassiter try to one-up each other]
Special Agent Lars Ewing : Presidential Recommendation for Distinguished Service.
Carlton Lassiter : Presidential Physical Fitness Award, 8th, 9th, and 10th grade... and I've got a cocktail napkin from Air Force One.
Special Agent Lars Ewing : I personally arrested Ivan Boesky.
Carlton Lassiter : I wrestled in high school.
Special Agent Lars Ewing : What, with your conscience?
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Carlton Lassiter : Is that a recording device? Government-issued?
Special Agent Lars Ewing : Asking if that is a recording device...
[takes a pen out of his jacket]
Special Agent Lars Ewing : ...is like asking if this is a pen.
Carlton Lassiter : Is it a pen?
Special Agent Lars Ewing : That's classified.
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Carlton Lassiter : Hey, what color is that suit?
Special Agent Lars Ewing : Black.
Carlton Lassiter : Really? It seems blacker than black.
Special Agent Lars Ewing : It's Washington black.
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Shawn Spencer : You might want to check the cash from the dealership, because it's not all counterfeit.
Special Agent Lars Ewing : That's ridiculous. If I had learned how to laugh as a child, I would right now.
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Shawn Spencer : Wait a minute... you're not Lassie.
Special Agent Lars Ewing : Well, I don't know what a "lassie" is, but I'm not it. Special Agent Lars Ewing, with the FTD.
Shawn Spencer : You're a special florist?
Special Agent Lars Ewing : Federal Treasury Department.
Shawn Spencer : We have a department that deals exclusively with treasures?
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Lindsay Leikin : I'm getting a visual. He printed a batch of about fifty thousand, which should last him a while.
Special Agent Lars Ewing : Five bills a sheet, at least eighty sheets missing from this ream, that sounds about right.
Shawn Spencer : [puts his hand to his head] Wait. No... I'm getting more. I'm getting a lot more. Like five *hundred* thousand, which would last more than just a while, maybe... maybe a lifetime.
Lindsay Leikin : That's not possible.
Shawn Spencer : It is if you live in one of the Baltic states.