- Dr. Perry Cox: What is it? And make it quick so you don't bore me.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: A few months ago, Elliot and I almost kissed. But now, she's saying...
- Dr. Perry Cox: Well, you tried your best. Now, leave me alone.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Can you believe a month ago you were gonna marry him and I was gonna move in with Kim, and then it all fell apart when we had that "almost moment" in the on-call room. You know, we never talked about that.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: What's there to talk about? You just tried to kiss me.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [Voice over, while J.D. makes a face] I tried to kiss her? What the hell? Wait a second. There's nobody here to see my "What the hell" face.
- Dr. Perry Cox: [Telling a story for Jack] There was once a nurse, a surgeon, a doctor, and an idiot.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Does this hat make me look fly?
- Jordan: [Interrupting] Perry, he's four. No hospital stories.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Fine. There was once a two-headed witch, a princess, and a VILLAGE idiot.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Does this hat make me look flyeth? It jingles when I shake it.
- Jordan: Where the hell are you going? It's your night to tell him a story.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Oh, no, no, no. I couldn't be more wiped out.
- Jordan: The nanny's mom died, and I had to spend the whole day sprinting around the house trying to avoid having conversations with her. You don't see me crying about it! So suck it up and spin a yarn.
- Baby Jack: Yeah, Dad, suck it up.