- Melissa Raccoon: Bert, isn't it unusual for you to be up this early?
- Ralph: Nonsense, Melissa. Every day Bert rises at the crack of noon!
- Bert: [singing] Hey girl, when your heart is breaking/ Hey girl, when he's through taking everything that he can take from you/ Hey girl, when you're through with losin'/ Hey girl, when you're down and bruisin'/ Everything seems so cruel to you...
- [It's night. The balloon is dangling from the branch off of the cliff edge and Bert is sitting in the gondola, head in his hands. It seems like all is lost for him]
- Bert: Oh... Some star!
- [He sniffs]
- Bert: If I'd only listened to the gang...
- [He slumps back and starts to sing, sadly and tunelessly]
- Bert: Hey girl, when your heart is breaking...
- [a snap is heard and the balloon shakes. Bert clasps his hands together desperately, praying that the branch doesn't snap before someone comes to save him]
- Bert: Hey, girl, when he's through taking everything that he...
- [the branch snaps and the balloon plummets downward]
- Bert: Whoa-ah!
- [Schaeffer catches the balloon at the last second, and Ralph and Melissa grab onto his legs to weigh him down]
- Schaeffer: Hold my feet, gang, while I pull him up!
- [Schaeffer pulls the balloon up. Bert peeks up out of the gondola]
- Bert: Schaeffer? Ralph? Melissa? The whole gang!
- Sophia Tutu: Oh, Bert! Are you alright?
- Bert: [slightly frazzled] Oh... I'm okay... Now.
- Cyril Sneer: Now, then, were they *all* unreasonable?
- Pig One: Uh... not *all* of them, sir.
- [Cyril smiles deviously. Fade to the next day. Bert is walking along the road dejectedly. A purple limousine pulls up next to him. The pigs quickly open the door, whip off Bert's sweater and drive off. Bert covers his exposed fur in embarrassment]
- Bert: Hey, what's goin' on here?
- [the pigs reverse back to Bert's side, open the door and grab him, pulling him inside]
- Bert: Hey, leggo! HELP! HEEEEELP!
- Cyril Sneer: Alright, Raccoon, try this on for size!
- Bert: Huh? Is this another jacket?
- Cyril Sneer: Stow it, wiseguy!