The Return of 'Allo 'Allo! (2007 TV Movie)
Gorden Kaye: René Artois
Quotes
-
Michelle Dubois : Listen very carefully, I will say this only once.
René Artois : Have you ever said anything twice?
Michelle Dubois : I have, but only once.
-
René Artois : As you know, I am editing my memoirs...
Yvette Carte-Blanche : Oh, am I still to be found between the covers?
-
Yvette Carte-Blanche : René, surely you are not going to put every detail in your memoirs?
René Artois : Why, yes! But the names have been changed to protect the innocent. I have changed your name, too.
-
René Artois : Something has been eating away at me like a mouse gnawing away at an 'ard bit of cheese.
Michelle Dubois : Well, come on, René, out with it.
René Artois : [distracted for a moment] Oh, ah, Michelle, what exactly do you wear under this mackintosh?
-
Officer Crabtree : [reminicing about his arrival in France] Ah yes, I remember it well. It was a dick night, and there was no min.
René Artois : [to the audience] Dark night, no moon.
Officer Crabtree : I jumped out of a Brittish bummer, which was being chased by some German farters.
-
Mimi Labonq : René, when will I ever get over you?
René Artois : Well, Thursday's are good for me...
-
Mimi Labonq : [to Leclerc] I was just telling him about our wonderful wedding photographs.
René Artois : Yeah, you must give me one next time you come round.
Mimi Labonq : I will make sure you 'ave an enlargement.
René Artois : I will look forward to that.
-
Lieutenant Hubert Gruber : I notice that there are dark circles around your eyes, are you suffering from stress?
René Artois : Why no, I, the, eh, I know what it is. I have been using dusty binoculars for birdwatching.
Lieutenant Hubert Gruber : Oh, how could I forget. You were always a twitcher.
-
René Artois : You know, looking back on it all I suppose I should count my blessings. I still have my café, I still have my youthful good looks.