- [from trailer]
- Randy Marsh: [Randy, about to flush toilet, stops when he sees his crap in the toilet] Wow. That is huge. That has got to be the biggest crap I have ever taken. Wow. Hey, hey Sharon. Sharon, you gotta come see this. Sh-Sharon!
- Sharon Marsh: [enters bathroom] What is it Randy, do you have any -
- [sees crap;; disgusted]
- Sharon Marsh: Oh! Randy!
- Randy Marsh: Will you look at that? Is that the biggest crap you've ever seen or what?
- Der President of European Fecal Standards and Measurements: We're sorry Mr. Marsh, but if you cannot crap out the crap, it is not really a crap.
- [JAAxFhY43no]
- Receptionist: You need to call the European Fecal Standards and Measurements Office in Zurich. Their number is listed on their website.
- [r9iAxbgQ4MA]
- Bono: Hello everyone! I am Bono. For years, it has been my honor to try and bring focus to the needs in Africa. And today, I have very exciting news. Last night, at twenty past eight, I took a crap weighing nine and a half Courics. As you can see, it is one solid piece. It is my biggest crap to date. And I swear to its authenticity. Thank you, and God bless.
- [NdbyQk5ZvH8]
- Randy Marsh: I almost did it. I almost made something of myself. You know, when you get real close, you start to think that maybe your life is gonna matter. I mean, this was something I made! Something that came from me! That was a a part of me! The only thing I ever made that was any good.
- Stan Marsh: [affronted] Gee, thanks a lot, Dad.
- Randy Marsh: You're welcome. And I just... I know that this late in my life, I'll never come so close to finally having meaning.