Rules of Engagement (TV Series)

Kids (2007)

Patrick Warburton: Jeff Bingham

Quotes 

• Audrey : [banging on door]  C'mon Jeff, you don't have to read all the magazines.

  Jeff : Dammit! You made me miss.

  Audrey : What ?

  Jeff : You made me miss. You knocked just as I was teeing off and I shanked it.

  Audrey : Are you nude ?

  Jeff : If I'm gonna do this, I'm going to do it right. And, why did you knock ?

  Audrey : Well, I'm sorry but you were taking forever.

  Jeff : I was romancing myself.

  Audrey : Why? You know how easy you are...

  Jeff : With you maybe. With myself, I like a little foreplay. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take a quick nap, and then play the back nine.

• [Jeff and Audrey at the doctor's office to do a fertility test] 

  Jeff Bingham : Ok. Great. So, how much do you need?

  Doctor : Excuse me?

  Audrey Bingham : He's just a little nervous. Honey, you just do your thing once and they will take what they need.

  Jeff Bingham : Oh, ok. So, can we have your office for about 10 minutes? Doc?

  Audrey Bingham : Jeff!

  Doctor : Actually, we have a private room in which you can produce the sample.

  Jeff Bingham : By myself?

  Audrey Bingham : Yes. The moment you've been practicing for all these years.

  Jeff Bingham : She's just kidding. I don't...

  Doctor : It's fine.

  Jeff Bingham : Ok, I do.

  Doctor : In the room you will find an assortment of visual aids.

  Jeff Bingham : Sex magazines?

  Doctor : Yes

  Jeff Bingham : Nice. Where are they stashed?

  Doctor : They're right there in plain view.

  Jeff Bingham : Very nice.

  [Later, Jeff in the private room, Reading a playpen magazine] 

  Jeff Bingham : Wow. Interview with Brett Favre.