- Gareth: Get me a large knife sharp like a razor. I have to castrate the person who made this sauce and I want to avoid any unnecessary suffering. It is imperative that the author of this atrocity is not allowed to breed any more.
- Gareth: God I love fishing. Well, obviously what I actually love is standing in cold water up to my goolies. That must be the appeal because I never see a fish, neverless catch one.
- Gareth: No need to worry about the health inspector coming, the shock would kill him on the spot. The bacteria under Everton's section would consume him in seconds.