- Sam Malloy: [about their new social security cards] So how do we use these cards?
- Wayne Malloy: We use them to enroll you kids in school.
- Dahlia Malloy: Would you stop scaring them?
- Wayne Malloy: I'm serious.
- Dahlia Malloy: So am I.
- Wayne Malloy: Come on, it'll be real fun, won't it? I mean, when's the last time you were in an educational facility?
- Cael Malloy: Fifty minutes outside Georgia, ripping off that school.
- Wayne Malloy: Yeah, wasn't that great?
- Wayne Malloy: [handing Dahlia a credit card] It's F.E.O.
- Dahlia Malloy: For Energetic Orgasms?
- Wayne Malloy: No. For Emergencies Only.
- Wayne Malloy: Are you a Panco person?
- Panco Receptionist: I am Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
- Wayne Malloy: Can I be Tuesdays and Thursdays?
- Dahlia Malloy: Di Di, what's your name?
- Di Di Malloy: My name's Delilah Rich from Tampa.
- Dahlia Malloy: Hobbies?
- Di Di Malloy: Fencing, skiing, racquetball and sex.
- [Dahlia slaps her on the shoulder]
- Di Di Malloy: Ow! Chess.
- Dahlia Malloy: Cut the sass!
- Dahlia Malloy: [to Wayne] They don't just give it to you, Wayne! This American dream. They don't just give it to you with a big old ribbon and a bow. If we want it, we gotta take it.
- Wayne Malloy: [reading a Shakespeare quote] "We know what we are, but not what we may be". - William Shakespeare.
- Dahlia Malloy: [to the kids] I don't know that means, but y'all take notes.
- Dahlia Malloy: Cael, do y'all wanna go to private school or not?
- Cael Malloy, Di Di Malloy: No.
- Dahlia Malloy: Well, ya are.
- Hugh Panetta: [to Wayne who is pretending to be Doug Rich] Welcome to Panco, Doug. I hope your time here is fruitful.
- [first lines]
- Wayne Malloy: [narrating voice over] I'm Wayne Malloy. My family and I are travelers. Our kind have been living in this company for a hundred and fifty years. We're not listed in the phone book, we don't have social security numbers, we live off the grip. Some people call us gypsies, some call us thieves. Most of them don't even know we exist.
- Hugh Panetta: [to Wayne who is pretending to be Doug Rich] Welcome to the pack. Doug Rich, meet your new team. Panco team, meet your new Chief of legal.
- Hugh Panetta: [to Wayne who is pretending to be Doug Rich] Aubrey's a five star paralegal. And she wants to be a lawyer too.
- Hugh Panetta: [to Wayne who is pretending to be Doug Rich, about Aubrey] She's the hardest worker I've got.
- Wayne Malloy: [pretending to be Doug Rich] Would you like to take a stab at this?
- Aubrey McDonald: I am not a lawyer, Mr. Rich.
- Nina: [to Dahlia who is pretending to be Cherien Rich] The Rosemere Academy. Fifteen hundred a month, eighteen a year.
- Dahlia Malloy: There ain't nobody gon' tell me I don't care about my kids.
- Di Di Malloy: You can't lose it.
- Dahlia Malloy: Yeah, we will.
- Sam Malloy: [pretending to be Sam Rich, about Jane Fedley] We can't leave her. Her bird is missing.
- Dahlia Malloy: [pretending to be Cherien Rich] Miss Fedley is an adult. I'm sure she can manage.
- Sam Malloy: Give me the bird.
- Di Di Malloy: Get her over here.
- Sam Malloy: [calling Jane Fedley] Over here.
- Jane Fedley: I want to repay you
- Dahlia Malloy: [pretending to be Cherien Rich] There's nothing you can do, Jane.
- Di Di Malloy: [about Tammy] Did you tell her where we are?
- Cael Malloy: Yeah, Dee. I gave her the address, cause I'm that dumb.
- Di Di Malloy: School? Who wants to learn a bunch of buffer bullshit?
- Wayne Malloy: School is the cornerstone of buffer society.
- Stewart Peel: You have got to be the worst lawyer in the world.
- Wayne Malloy: [pretending to be Doug Rich] I am.