Legend of the Bog (2009) User Reviews

Legend Of The Bored

[Heislegend · 3/10 · 15 June 2009]

No...seriously...this is just plain boring. I have a fondness for watching Vinnie Jones in just about anything which seems to be both a blessing and a curse. He was great in Snatch, hilarious in Eurotrip, and awesome in Midnight Meat Train (despite having only one line in the whole movie...that's how cool he is). He may just be one of the most distinctly British actors in the history of cinema...when the dude's on screen you can't help but think "holy crap, that guy is British". But the blandness of Legend of The Bog is just plain inexcusable, Jones or not.

This movie doesn't really seem to know where it wants to go from the start. Is it a zombie movie? Kind of, but not really. There's people rising from the dead, but they're not zombies in the typical sense. There's pretty much nothing in the way of explanation. You're just meant to accept that 2,000 year old bog bodies are rising from their graves (or lack thereof) looking surprisingly alive and free from decomposition. Period. To be perfectly honest, this movie reminded me (often painfully) of that old episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 where they showed "Eegah". It's so similar in parts that it seriously makes me question the future of just about anyone appearing this movie. As I watched this movie I was fighting sleep from about 30 minutes in and briefly succumbed right near the end, nodding off momentarily. That's how boring it is...in a HORROR MOVIE, during the CLIMAX, when everything's supposed to go all to hell and be the most entertaining, I briefly nodded off. I didn't miss anything important, though at that point I wouldn't have cared if I had. Oh...and no violence? Seriously? All of the kills are done off screen which is just a huge party foul for a horror movie. Whatever...I think even writing this is giving this film more than it deserves. Skip it and watch something...anything...else.

Review of a...mmm...how should we call it ?!

[ecstasy_neo · 3/10 · 16 June 2009]

OK, to start with ,don't be baffled by Vinnie being in this movie cause the plot is so thin that u wouldn't even know is there.The acting is bellow par and besides this the actors look like they wanna get the hell outta there and take a break. How should i say it ?......if u survive the first minutes of the film ,which for a movie start are horrible, then u would waste 90 minutes of your life. This movie makes Far Cry look like an Oscar nominee , so no don't watch even if is free. The only guy who made me laugh is the one who plays the so called mummy who looks like acting for him is running , slashing , tearing everything apart and trying to look as dumb as ever. Too bad Vinnie is in the movie , i was expecting a lot more from both.

Legend of the Lavatory

[doughnutboy20 · 2/10 · 15 September 2009]

Tut, tut, tut, oh Vinny what rubbish have you got yourself into now?

Well first off, I would just like to say that Vinny Jones does not deserve all of the harsh comments directed at this film (well let's face it he's not the sharpest tool in the box is he?), but I definitely think he should have said no to this little stinker.

The film started with a couple of ideas that weren't too bad, but ideas can't save a film with no story. Also choosing Vinny Jones to be the lead in you're movie, doesn't exactly spring Multi-million pound film to mind does it?

I liked the fact the movie was filmed in the place it was actually supposed to be set in, this is something you don't see enough today (Plus Ireland does have some lovely scenery).

The Bogman (if that's the right term) wasn't at all scary, though he might have been a good idea for a kids movie. The actors were surprisingly good (too good for this film anyway), but us as the audience didn't really empathise with the characters they played (probably because most of the characters had the annoying factor, this was probably their intention, but that only works for likable B movies i'm afraid), which is kind of important in a film like this.

Using English, American and Irish actors in the film was quite a clever move, they probably thought this would make it more appealable to all audiences and therefore make more money off it. Having the characters come together gradually was also clever, I like it when films do this, because it shows that all the characters had a life before the event, and not just the main character.

Although the ending was predictable and just added to the pointlessness of the film, I thought it could have been worse.

To summarise, the film was awful and judging by some of the reviews on this site alone, you'd have to go a long way to find someone to disagree with you on that.

Is this really a movie?

[Cristiantel · 1/10 · 19 June 2009]

I am a big movie consumer and I'm very tolerant with bad ones. I believe there is something good in almost any movie: maybe a good actor, a good scenario, a nice landscape, nice FX... something! Legend of the bog? I don't know... I couldn't find something like that! Bad acting, bad plot, bad scenario, bad effects... Oh, there is something! A nice forest and an interesting landscape... I mean the bog itself!

A movie without beginning, without ending and between... a very confusing, stupid and boring action, made out of unbound pieces of amateur theatrical performance! I've watched this movie with my 12 years old son, him too a "movie-man", and after about 30 minutes he asked me: "Do you like this movie? I think is as bad as Centipede! You said to me this is a horror movie!". Well... no comment! Still, we've watched till the end, only to see what happens in the end. And it happened... nothing!

So... it simply doesn't worth, watching the sky would be more productive!

The English Have Another Meaning for the Word 'Bog'

[vaughan-34 · 1/10 · 14 June 2009]

I'm not going to bother to decide if this deserves a 3 out of 10, or a four, or even a 2. It was bad, so I'm leaving this comment at a 1.

Horror fans don't mind if their films aren't original, as long as it's done well. The genre is full of conventions, and originality occurs only with the smallest of twists on them. Fair enough.

The fact that the poster for this one has a big picture of Vinnie Jones on it - when in fact he's not the lead - if forgivable. Vinnie is always fun to watch anyway. However, just about everything else is poor, very poor.

Where to start? It's a film set in Ireland (outside Dublin) that has, as one would expect, a bunch of Irish people in it. And then there's the cockney "hunter", Vinnie Jones - along along with three Americans for good measure. One of the Americans is an evil property developer, building houses on the Bog.

Anyway, Bog Men can, apparently, be reconstituted when dipped into water. Okay, I can live with that as a horror fan. What i can't live with is the fact that the Bog Man make-up consists entirely of a set of bad teeth and a grunt. He wears an old kit from Giant Haystacks (if you're old enough to remember some classic wrestlers from yesteryear.

The film tries to tie up why these people are doomed to die, but it's never tied into the Bog story. Vinnie's character is one-dimensional and he's cruising through the roll. They (badly) CGI some flames at the end.

It's all so..... bad. The main thing it does wrong is that it's not even funny. It has sprinkles of humour in it that don't really work. It's not entertaining.... I was strained at the leash to tear myself away from the remote to turn this off.

Pity but this is a stinker, really poor. Oh well.

One of the worst...

[john-5853 · 1/10 · 5 July 2009]

So, so bad. I'll be honest, I didn't watch the whole movie; I simply couldn't put myself through the whole thing. It was that bad.

The acting is horrendous. The dialogue is simple minded. The effects are definitely not of a 2009 film, even a low budget one.

The attempt at humor was insultingly bad. There was one scene where a brute bog monster made fur slippers out of 2 dogs. Why the dogs were tied up in the middle of the road is beyond my comprehension. Why a mindless monster cares about footwear is another puzzle to the logical mind.

Take my advice and do not watch this movie; you will only hate yourself if you do.

Not very impressive horror/comedy muddle

[wellthatswhatithinkanyway · 2/10 · 24 September 2009]

STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning

There seems to be a Breach of the Trade Descriptions Act going on with a lot of these straight to video action films, where the cover gives the wrong impression of what sort of movie it's going to be and even puts a lead star on the front cover that doesn't actually have that much screen time. Vinnie Jones does end up getting a bit more coverage than it first looks like he will, but he's still missing for quite a bit of it and certainly doesn't feel like the main player in it all. And while it looks from the cover like another one of his straight to DVD action films, it's actually more of a messy, jumbled horror/comedy sort of film that goes to both extremes with each genre.

Actually, this is Jones's second collaboration with, and the second feature film of director Brendan Foley, following his equally disastrous debut The Riddle, where Jones was also the lead. But here everything's really lumpen, with truly cheap looking production values, an incomprehensible, incoherent plot and Jones doing his usual silent, grumpy hard man act with some really flat dialogue to chew off. All this and a big, ogre some killer going around bumping everyone off.

I'm really not sure what anyone was trying to get at with this one. Jones should try and get back in theatres and Foley should think about packing it in. *

Puzzling

[filmgods · 2/10 · 8 August 2009]

After watching this film, I had to ask someone else what genre it was supposed to be. It's really unclear. My gut reaction was horror, but the music, locations, and "creature" aren't scary. In fact, the music works to diffuse any tension that might have been accidentally created. This movie feels like the filmmakers meant for this to be a drama and at the last minute decided to play up some horror aspects since that genre is popular right now. Either way, Vinnie Jones doesn't deserve to be in this film, and with the exception of a few moments when the cinematography is pretty well done, this film doesn't lend itself to a single viewing. I believe the people at the helm of this one need more practice.

Bog almighty, what utter crap!

[tturwitz78 · 20 June 2009]

This film's main contribution must be that it constitutes irrefutable evidence against creationist notions of an intelligent designer of mankind. A truly intelligent designer would not just have provided us with eyelids to avoid watching this kind of rubbish, he would have given us earlids as well to protect our brains against the utterly inane and imbecille dialogue. Fortunately, we have legs, so at least one can walk away from what must be one of the worst movies ever made. It has NO redeeming features. It is not even bad in such a way as to be amusing or entertaining. It is just plain BAD. Inane, idiotic, imbecille, illogical, inconsistent...

All Bogged Down*

[Bill357 · 1/10 · 23 June 2009]

(* pun intended)

The only good thing about Legend Of The Bog is some good Irish scenery. Other than that there's pretty much nothing else to recommend.

It starts off looking like it's going to be a fairly entertaining zombie type movie with Vinnie Jones doing an impersonation of Rupert Everett in Cemetery Man (or is it Dellamorte Dellamore?) but it goes downhill pretty fast when we meet the rest of the cast.

The characters are mostly obnoxious. We've got the ugly American and her driver, a despicable b---h she is, an idiot he; the pretty American and her pal, nothing more than kill fodder; the egghead archaeologist and college student, first she hates, him then she loves him, then she accidentally stabs him with a sharp stick; last we have the hunter, a character who's motives are pretty much a mystery, a one-dimensional cardboard cutout played by Vinnie Jones. They all get stranded through various mishaps in Jones' hunting shack near the bog.

Speaking of Jones, why isn't this guy in better movies? He virtually stole the show in The Condemned a few years back. I thought it was going to be a springboard to better things. Maybe he's difficult or something.

Anyway, the bog creature is really just a prehistoric oaf, acting a bit like the titular character from Eegah!, reanimated through some means never explained.

Also never explained is what all these people having killed someone beforehand has to do with the rest of the movie.(If you haven' seen this yet, don't ask.) It's hinted that it has something to do with what's happening but never elaborated on.

If you make it to the end, please fast forward through the college girl's vomit inducing story and flashback. Then again maybe you like incest and stillborn inbred babies but it made me a bit queasy! Yuck!

Eh not so much!

[rickyrick0000 · 1/10 · 24 June 2009]

Having Vinnie Jones star in this movie was indeed the one and only redeeming quality of this one. But even he could not save this film...and I use the term film loosely. Should go with cartoon! I'm a huge Vinnie Jones fan and his character didn't disappoint, but everything else did. Movie was about Vinnie vs "Baby Ruth" man from the Goonies! So lame, we laughed like it was a good Seth Rogan flick! Vinnie just couldn't carry the lameness of the Baby Ruth guy. You just couldn't take the protagonist seriously at all. Please don't disappoint us again Jones. Also we were robbed out of a boob shot with the hot chic in the shower, and thats just not cool at all. Every horror/suspense flick is required to have a boob shot of a hot chic! It's just a manditory thing.

More a comedy than a horror movie

[mglishev · 10/10 · 21 November 2009]

I actually liked the film. I see that it isn't quite popular around here but for me it was fresh, hilariously Irish and darn entertaining. The taxi driver was my absolute hero with this horrible accent and honest, stupid face. I loved the merry soundtrack, the muddy scenery and all the nice ladies dying in a mockingly nasty way. Not to mention the 'thanks' waving of the crippled zombie or the furry cocker-spaniel hand-made shoes of the warrior. There wasn't much of an explanation why these Bronze Age bodies resurrect but I didn't need such: they do, that's all. Meet the consequences. As a matter of fact, the not-so-dead primitive warrior looked a little bit like the Bulgarian Prime Minister, so I really enjoyed the movie in the company of two beers. It gets ten out of ten from me. Sheer amusement. Of course, the movie isn't as good as, say, 'Event Horizon' but it's still good enough.

Horrible in the best way possible.

[dweeb848 · 7/10 · 26 December 2023]

It's plot is full of holes and seemingly missing details, and the characters are complete jackwagons... loved it! If you understand and appreciate the often booed genre of low grade horror movies then I recommend this one. Is it bad? Yes. But in the good kind of way only bad horror movies can be.

An instant cheesy classic? No, but if this had come out when I was twelve and I found it on the hallowed shelves of Blockbuster, it would have become one that I would have insisted on renting every so often. If for no other reason than to watch a zombie esque prehistoric man screaming "Pog mo thoin" at a car full of teenagers.

And it's Vinnie Jones, you can never go wrong with watching a Vinnie Jones movie.

Meandering and unfocused

[JoeB131 · 3/10 · 22 February 2010]

Not badly acted, but it almost seems like you had moments where there were three different movies going on here, and they inadvertently intersected.

Essentially, an evil Real Estate woman unearths a bog body and orders it dumped instead of reporting it to the authorities. Well, when the Bog Body comes back to life by being put in water (are they like "Sea Monkeys"?) it starts wandering around modern Ireland looking for people (and yappy dogs) to kill. Meanwhile, our six main characters gather at the house of a "hunter".

We find out all the main characters killed someone and dumped them in the bog. So the Bog was finding revenge. Maybe. Don't know, because half of them are killed by accidents, while the Bog Man is killing innocent bystanders in the nearby town.

The thing is a truly convoluted mess, and I'm not even sure what the point is...

How to behead a concept

[TwentyCamels · 16 June 2009]

Sweet LORD this is without a shadow of a doubt one of the WORST films, let alone horror films I have ever seen, the cheapness of the budget shows more in the acting talent than anything else, with the exception of Vinnie Jones who puts in his usual performance as...well...Vinnie Jones. You would have thought he'd have developed some acting talent useful enough to broaden his range since LOCK STOCK but apparently not, he just grunts and mockneys his way through this heap like every other film unfortunate enough to be tainted by his embarrassingly unconvincing efforts at character realism. Also this film a lot of the time, especially for the first half doesn't appear to be sure to-be-sure whether or not it's a horror or an infomercial made for the travel and tourism board of Oireland, a lot of it seems to be jolly-begorrah panning shots of rural country or people going about their mundane business to the chirpy sound of Gaelic folk. The only saving grace to this joke is the on-the-floor-in-hysterics performance put in by whatever lunk they hired to play the bog man. He comes across like a supermarket trolley attendant lost in the woods on cheap speed, his facial expressions as he attempts to convey whatever the director told him to convey are priceless in their utter retardation, look out for a good bit at the end where the girl is squaring up to him, and for a minute he looks like he's building up to a really HUGE roar of fury, neck straining and everything, and then just suddenly looks confused, or constipated, a little embarrassed too. I'm totally in respect of the constraints in place once you've spunked most of your budget on hiring someone with some international kudos but no acting talent whatsoever to play one of your leads, but the least you can do is put SOME effort into redistributing the rest to good effect.

Wait?! Did he make shoes out of the dogs?!

[jmbovan-47-160173 · 2/10 · 11 December 2023]

So, a Bog Body is resurrected and starts to transverse the big grunting and saying "water" and "peace" in Gaelic. Oh, and turns over a car. And apparently makes a pair of Uggs after killing (?) two dogs?! In about 30 seconds?

At the same time, three different sets of people become stuck in the bog. So they have to fend for themselves in the bog house.

But wait! There is a hunter in the bog who keeps the population of prehistoric people in line.

The script has small scenes of annoyed interactions between people in the groups. Then in cute little segments, we see each group walk (and often fall) while "traditional" Irish music plays its little jig.

Fun!

I had to turn it off. The people are miserable, selfish, clueless, and stereotypical. Why make this film?!

One of THE worst movies --- EVER !

[FountainPen · 1/10 · 4 May 2018]

Good Grief ! WHAT was anyone thinking when they made this hideous abortion? It is one of the worst films I have ever seen, in many decades, believe me. The "story" was ridiculous, the acting absurd, with caricature Irish accents, and a "monster" that looked like a 3rd-time-reject from a wrestling gym. Do yourself a big favour and give this crap a miss. It deserves a zero. Vinnie Jones should be ashamed of himself for appearing in this; I guess he needed a few bucks, poor guy. #

An Irish legend comes to life.

[michaelRokeefe · 4/10 · 27 June 2009]

Not bad for a lower-budget fantasy drama. Actually written to be a comedy of sorts, LEGEND OF THE BOG has a 2,000 year old warrior washing up perfectly preserved in a rural Irish peat bog. A greedy real estate developer orders the 'bog-body' to be secretly disposed of. He rises from the dead and goes on a rampage. The developer, an archaeologist , their drivers and a young couple of girls find themselves lost and taking refuge in the rustic home of a hunter. They all have independent dark secrets that the 'bog-body' by legend seeks vengeance on their secret past misgivings.

I can't imagine this not going straight to DVD. Also starring are: Jason Barry, Adam Fogerty and Shelly Goldstein. If this was shown in a theater it would have to compete with the refreshments.

Horrible!

[deadeye-14 · 1/10 · 15 October 2009]

"Why Vinnie Jones, why would you star in such a crappy movie? I've seen your movies do so well up to this point, even your performance in X-men 3 was better than this!"

This was my very first and last reactions to this flop of a production. The creators of "Legend of the Bog" must be stoned out of their minds! If you manage to obtain any copy of this movie, dispose of it immediately!

I've gotta say, I have seen better acting in a porno. I'd expect this kind of production from a high school independent films class, but come on, this is supposed to be the big leagues... STEP IT UP A BIT!

Not the worst film ever

[aqos-1 · 4/10 · 17 June 2009]

Let me start by saying "I love Vinnie Jones." That being said, this movie is not up to his regular standards. The bog histories, if they were true, were interesting. The concept of people from thousands of years ago being killed and buried in the bogs was interesting. Them reanimating just out of the blue and seeking out a specific kind of person, that's a little iffy. Also the fact that all of these people just happen to converge on this same cottage on the same day is just too much coincidence as is not having phone service when they were apparently only about three miles from a road. I did not like the little love connection they felt needed to be in the movie. It added nothing to the story. This is in no way a horror movie. It is more something that is based on a false lore that has been told for years. Seeing Vinnie Jones was it's only redeeming feature.

TOJ JOHNSON ALIVE AND WELL

[nogodnomasters · 5/10 · 14 December 2018]

If you loved watching bad movies with someone who looks like Toj Johnson, try this one out. The movie never really got scary, unless you are a midget clown. The bog monster isn't frightening and the shower scene was rated G.

I will say that the people in this movie tended to be have more character than in normal one star productions. The rude American was funny at times, calling the cab driver, "McDuff, Gilligan and Darby O' Gill."

There seems to be a lot of cows on the road in Ireland. More comedy than horror.