- Boris Badenov: Hello! It is I, Boris Badenov! Your number one pin-up spy!
- [guns begin firing at Boris who ducks back inside]
- Natasha Fatale: I think your rating has dropped, dahlink.
- Boris Badenov: How could they do this to me? After 20 years of lying, cheating, double-crossing, and backbiting, they don't like me anymore.
- Boris Badenov: Hello, Fearless Leader? It's Boris.
- Fearless Leader: Boris who?
- Boris Badenov: Boris Badenov.
- Fearless Leader: Must be some mistake. We got no spy named Badenov.
- Boris Badenov: You do, too. It's me.
- Fearless Leader: We used to have nebbish named Badenov, but he was executed yesterday.
- Boris Badenov: What?
- Fearless Leader: It says so in paper.
- Boris Badenov: Bu-But I'm Badenov!
- Fearless Leader: Oh, my mistake. I pick up tomorrow's paper. Heh heh heh. Oh, well. What's one day?
- [Rocky and Bullwinkle, who are disguised to look like Boris and Natasha, are apprehended by the Pottsylvanian citizens]
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Uh-oh, Rocky. Something must have gone wrong.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Cheer up, Bullwinkle. Maybe they're taking us to meet the mayor.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: [points to a man with an axe] I don't think that's the key to the city he's holding.
- [Boris and Natasha look through a porthole and see a reception committee armed with weapons]
- Boris Badenov: Ah, it's good to be back among old friends, Natasha.
- Natasha Fatale: If those are friends, I'd hate to meet your enemies.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: [while removing his false mustache] Gee, I thought it'd be years yet before I started shaving.
- Jailer: Well, I guess you really are tourists. Howdy, welcome to Pottsylvania, and come along.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Thanks and where are we going?
- Jailer: Where else? To jail.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Jail?
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Jail?
- Narrator: Jail? This is a Pottsylvanian howdy?