October Road (TV Series)

The Pros and Cons of Upsetting the Applecart (2007)

Bryan Greenberg: Nick Garrett

Quotes 

• Dean Leslie Etwood : Is this a joke? Because if this is a joke I'm still stuck in the setup. Which as you may recall involved you panicking and sputtering your way out of a one day seminar, with a case of the dry-heaves, leaving an entire lecture hall in the lurch. And now you want me to give you your own class?

  Nick Garrett : Just, a little class. A nice, little graduate writing class.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : What makes you think you can actually teach? And please don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.

  Nick Garrett : No, no. But... the journey, getting there, the journey which those students wish to embark upon, I can share my experience.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : Then let's talk about that journey.

  Nick Garrett : Let's talk about it.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : The um, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned, for reasons unknown, and now is afraid to face his own life.

  Nick Garrett : Wow. I think you're leaving out the part where I burned down the orphanage and drunk-dialed the pope.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : A teacher by nature is a leader. And a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In other words, Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.

• Aubrey : And thus, the arsonist returns to the scene of his last great blaze.

  Nick Garrett : Going down in flames does seem to be the motif.

  Aubrey : What's the difference between self-pity and self-loathing?

  Nick Garrett : Well I'd answer you but I'm too busy feeling sorry for my vile existence.

  Aubrey : Awwh.

  Nick Garrett : Have you met this Dean Etwood?

  Aubrey : Oh, yeah yeah, what about her?

  Nick Garrett : Just that she's like Stalin, only without the dreamy compassion.

• Nick Garrett : Hey.

  [Holds up a framed picture he just found in a box of his old things] 

  Ronnie : You and Ma.

  Nick Garrett : Yeah.

  Ronnie : She'da got a kick outta all the fanciness you got going on.

  Nick Garrett : I don't know. I think she mighta been creased for me stayin' away ten years.

  Ronnie : But your back now. Where you belong. That's all that counts. It's how you close the game, not the score at half-time.

• Nick Garrett : [His old report card is illegible]  Game over.

  Ronnie : Not true. I think we can do much better than handing in an ancient document. Nothing beats a live testimonial. It's like I always say, 'if you can't deliver the bacon, bring 'em the pig'.

  Nick Garrett : You always say that?

  Ronnie : Well I will from now on. 'If you can't deliver the bacon, bring 'em the pig.'

• Nick Garrett : Thank you for seeing me again.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : You said you were bringing pie.

  Nick Garrett : No I didn't.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : My assistant told me 'Nicholas Garrett called to say he'd like to come by again, but this time, he's bringing pie'. That's why I agreed. No pie?

  Nick Garrett : No pie.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : Then good day.

  Nick Garrett : Just, hear me out. Okay, I know how you feel about me, and I know that there's nothing that I can say to change your mind. But, how 'bout the words of a fellow teacher?

  [Directs his arms to the open doorway] 

  Nick Garrett : I present Ms. Gertrude Weiner. 45 year veteran of the Massachusetts Educational System. And my tenth grade English teacher.

  Mrs. Weiner : How do you do? It's a pleasure. I um, I just want you to know that Nicholas is a wonderful young man. Watching him maneuver his way through semi-colons, I, I knew he would go far. You should think of what he can bring to the students.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : I am thinking of the students. That's why I'm not hiring Mr. Garrett. Because he's the very worst thing a teacher could be. A dilettante. Someone who does a job to suit his momentary needs. He reminds me of another man who came down to teach at a school in a parish of New Orleans. Only this man, he told the students that they could learn to sing. And so he sang to them, and the song was, uh, "Where Is Love" from the show "Oliver". But then this man, he left soon after, went back to his real life, leaving the students devastated. I remember that, because I was one of those children. And I remember the crushing sense of loss when that man left. So do not talk to me about the students Mrs. Weiner. Because everything I do, every fiber of my being is for these students.

• Aubrey : And thus, the arsonist returns to the scene of his last great blaze.

  Nick Garrett : Going down in flames does seem to be the motive.

• Nick Garrett : Game over.

  Ronny : Not true! I think we can do much better. Forget about Hannah and aging documents. Nothing beats a live testimonial. It's like I always said - "If you can't deliver the bacon, bring them the pig!"

  Nick Garrett : You always say that?

  Ronny : Well, I will from now on.

• Nick Garrett : Look, I'm trying to confront this stuff that I ran from years ago. And I'm willing to face anything, anything that comes my way. I will not leave you, Dean Etwood. Or your students either. This time I'm not leaving anything until it's ready to be left.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : Well, what an inspirational tale. But right now, Mr. Garrett, I'm going back to sleep.

• Dean Leslie Etwood : What makes you think you can actually teach? And please, don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.

  Nick Garrett : No! No. But... the journey. Getting there. The journey that those students wish to embark upon. I can share my experience.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : Then let's talk about that journey.

  Nick Garrett : Let's talk about it.

  Dean Leslie Etwood : The, ahm, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned for reasons unknown and now is afraid to face his own life. A teacher by nature is a leader and a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In all the world Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.