Brendon Small: Skwisgaar Skwigelf • Pickles the Drummer • Nathan Explosion • ...

Skwisklok

Skwisgaar Skwigelf • Pickles the Drummer • Nathan Explosion • Charles Foster Ofdensen

Toki Wartooth: Ah, cool, you gots a new shipment of custom guitar!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Yeah, this is uh, some designs I'm messing around with, uh, this one is, um, Swiss Army-tar. It's a good guitar for a camping trip, it's got toothpick.
Pickles the Drummer: Yeah, good tone. What's that one right there?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Uhh, is just an Antfarm-itar. But, still workings on it.
William Murderface: Nice! I'd like to stand on that thing.
Pickles the Drummer: Yeah, I'd stand on that.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Yah, and this is the Gibson Excalibu-tar, ya know. And here's my guitar made from the wood of Christ's cross.
William Murderface: Awww, get ready for a billion e-mails. Here comes the offended religious weirdos.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: What's offensive about the most religious instrument ever?

Charles Foster Ofdensen: Skwisgaar, this is your hand insurance policy. Should anything happen to your hands, you will be reimbursed $10 billion. Just sign here... here... and just sign here...
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Here. It looks like it's wont stop. How many copy I gots to sign?
Charles Foster Ofdensen: Ten. One policy for each finger.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Oh, yeah. That makes sense.

Pickles the Drummer: Our country's experiencing a horrible problem - nobody is using nickels. Use nickels. Nickels is money too guys.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Okay, let me explains again, in prafectly clear English, I wants flies in on a dragons, okay? How many times I got to tells this peoples?
Stage Hand: I know, there isn't a dragon.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: I know that's what I'm telling you!
Stage Hand: But that's what I'm telling you!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: So go get one! What are you doing here? Go, go get one now, go, go!
Stage Hand: They don't have them!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Are you telling me they are out of dragons?
Stage Hand: They never had dragons!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Who didn't?
Stage Hand: The world!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: GET this guy out of here! FIND me a dragon!

William Murderface: We've been talking Skwisgaar and, we think this whole production could be a lot more... zippy. It just, it needs zazz! Am I, I mean I'm right to say that right?
Nathan Explosion: No, you're right to say that. It's just, you know, you could stand to zazz it a up a little bit more.
Pickles the Drummer: No offense Skwisgaar but I gotta say this whole thing, it uh, it lacks zazz.
William Murderface: You could just put it on the zazz train to zazz-ville.
Toki Wartooth: Yeah because no offense there's absolutely no zazz to be found, not here anyway, not in these parts.
Nathan Explosion: What we're trying to say is that there's two kinds of shows out there, those with and those without...
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Could you please stop saying zazz?
Nathan Explosion: Zazz.
Pickles the Drummer: Zazz.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Please stop saying zazz.
Pickles the Drummer: Why don't you let us help you out?
William Murderface: Yeah and lighten the load, make it more zaaa - ohh, you know.

Nathan Explosion: Hello. Isn't this a nice surprise? Me being here at this incredibly zazzy event.
William Murderface: A fantastic star-studded evening, of zazz!
Pickles the Drummer: Got any room for any more zazz up here?
Toki Wartooth: I think I have diabetes. I'm going to take a fucking nap.