College (2008)

Ryan Pinkston: Fletcher

Quotes 

• Fletcher : So are you guys going on some sort of road trip to Fieldmont this weekend?

  Kevin Brewer : I don't think I'm going anymore.

  Fletcher : That's too bad. I just went there last weekend to visit my bro. I almost didn't make it back.

  Carter Scott : Almost didn't make it back? Dude, it's just college.

  Fletcher : Yeah, yeah, just college. Yeah, see, that's what I thought, too. And then I went, and I'm telling you guys right now, it is fucking nuts, man. It's retarded.

  Morris Hooper : Why? What happened?

  Fletcher : You guys want to know?

  [Kevin, Carter, and Morris all nod their heads] 

  Fletcher : Basically, this is how it went down. I didn't sleep for three days, okay? I don't have any money left in my bank account. I maxed out my parent's credit card, which was only supposed to be used in case of an emergency. I lost my cell phone, which is actually my dad's cell phone. So he's pissed about that and the credit card. I tried smoking a tampon, which I thought was a big fat joint. Still got high. Stole a car, got in a bar fight, ate some goldfish. Played naked Frisbee, did some whip-its, wet my brother's bed twice. Shit my pants, once, but please don't tell anyone, 'cause I'm kind of embarrassed about that. Saw two girls make out. With tongue! With tongue! Watched my brother's roommates eat as many cheeseburgers as they could until one of them puked. Found a tattoo on my lower back of a unicorn. Don't remember getting that. Figure I'll just tell people it's some sort of killer unicorn. You know? So it doesn't seem so gay. I laughed. I cried. Fell in love. Yeah, and did I mention earlier that I got laid? Three times. Different girls, yeah. So all in all, I'd say it was pretty much the best weekend of my fucking life.