Bill Fagerbakke credited as playing...
Patrick Star
- [after Squidward is attacked by the Seabear]
- Squidward: What did I do that time?
- SpongeBob: I don't know, I guess he just doesn't like you!
- Patrick: Pretend to be somebody else!
- SpongeBob: [tossing Squidward their stick] Here, draw a circle!
- Squidward: Okay.
- [the Seabear suddenly attacks Squidward yet again]
- SpongeBob: That was an oval! It has to be a circle!
- Squidward: Move over!
- [he jumps into the Anti-Seabear circle; the Seabear growls at Squidward before seeing the circle and threatens him before moving away]
- SpongeBob: I call this one The Campfire Song Song.
- SpongeBob: [singing] Let's gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song, out C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song and if you don't think that we can sing it faster than you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along
- Patrick: [in Squidward's ear] Bum, bum, bum...
- SpongeBob: [singing a bit faster] C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song, C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song, and if you don't think we can sing it faster then you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along, C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song, Patrick
- Patrick: [singing off key] SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E
- SpongeBob: Squidward!
- [Squidward stoically sits on the ground and refuses to sing along]
- SpongeBob: Good!
- [He changes his to the tune of a rock song]
- SpongeBob: It'll help! It'll help! If you just sing along!
- [He bounds off of a podium and smashes his guitar on the ground. Patrick slams a drum over SpongeBob, who bursts out of the drum, yelling]
- SpongeBob: OH, YEAH!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Seabears are all too real.
- [holds up a copy of the Bikini Bottom Inquirer]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: It says so in the Bikini Bottom Inquirer.
- Squidward: [reading headline on cover] "I Married a Sea Bear"?
- Patrick: Yeah! And Fake Science Monthly!
- [holds up a copy of Fake Science Monthly]
- Squidward: [reading headline] "Sea-Bears and Fairytales Are Real"? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
- Patrick: Well, maybe it is stupid, but it's also dumb!
- Squidward: Why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away?
- SpongeBob: Okay, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet.
- Squidward: Okay, then what?
- SpongeBob: Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast.
- Patrick: Flashlights are their natural prey.
- Squidward: You're kidding.
- SpongeBob: Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge.
- Patrick: Yeah.
- Squidward: Go on.
- SpongeBob: Don't ever eat cheese.
- Squidward: Cubed or sliced?
- [SpongeBob and Patrick whisper among each other briefly]
- SpongeBob: Cubed; sliced is fine.
- Squidward: Yeah, yeah, and?
- SpongeBob: Never wear a sombrero...
- Patrick: In a goofy fashion!
- SpongeBob: Or clown shoes.
- Patrick: Or a hoop skirt.
- SpongeBob: And never...
- Patrick: ...ever...
- SpongeBob: ...EVER...
- SpongeBob, Patrick: ...SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!
- Squidward: Wow! It's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off.
- SpongeBob, Patrick: They're horrible!
- [the Seabear attacked Squidward]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward, are you okay?
- Squidward: [battered from the attack] No.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Quick, jump inside our anti-Seabear circle before he comes back!
- Patrick: Yeah, Seabears often attack more than once!
- Squidward: Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster! I'm running for my life!
- [runs off]
- SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick: No!
- [the Seabear returns and attacks Squidward again]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Don't run! Seabears hate that!
- Squidward: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then.
- SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick: No!
- [the Seabear returns yet again and attacks Squidward]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: They hate limping more than running!
- Squidward: Well, I guess I'll just have...
- [the Seabear suddenly returns yet again and attacks Squidward further]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I should have warned you about crawling!