Rob McElhenney nel ruolo di...
Mac
- Mac: I say we hit the sorority houses, start passing out some flyers...
- Dennis Reynolds: We need to go the library. At sorority houses you're going to find nothing but tramps and whores.
- Mac: Perfect.
- Dennis Reynolds: You're not listening. We don't want wild girls. We want good girls gone wild. It's important to see the transition, watch the process...
- Dennis Reynolds: If Charlie took any time to study in school, he would recognize that the Constitution protects my freedom to blow smoke all over his face.
- Charlie Kelly: You gotta be... you don't know shit about the Constitution, man.
- Mac: Uh, he knows more than you two un-American freedom haters.
- Dennis Reynolds: Thank you.
- Dee Reynolds: Oh, Charlie, we hate freedom. Eww, we hate it.
- Dennis Reynolds: You hate it.
- Charlie Kelly: Oh, *I'm* un-American?
- Frank Reynolds: You're practically a Viet Cong.
- Dennis Reynolds: The t-shirts are working.
- Mac: Isn't that amazing? You ask to see a woman's breasts on the street, you get slapped. You give her a free t-shirt and videotape it and the clothes come right off.
- Dennis Reynolds: I love this country.
- Frank Reynolds: Do we have any sharp knives?
- Mac: What?
- Dennis Reynolds: What?
- Frank Reynolds: These guys are maniacs! They want to start betting fingers.
- Dennis Reynolds: Fingers!
- Mac: What are you talking about?
- Frank Reynolds: If Alan loses this hand, he's gonna start chopping off his fingers. I've never seen anything like it in my life!
- Mac: Okay, this has gone way too far.
- Dennis Reynolds: This is getting ridiculous. Dad, your friends have got to go!
- Frank Reynolds: Bullshit!
- Mac: You are *killing* our freedom, man!
- Frank Reynolds: This is what freedom's all about. I'm living on the edge!
- Mac: Well, then, what would you say?
- Dennis Reynolds: She's a quitter.
- Dee Reynolds: You know what, I don't even care! I don't care.
- Dennis Reynolds: And that proves my point. Because you don't care, you never succeed.
- Mac: Right. Failed.
- Dennis Reynolds: Failure implies that she actually *tried* to be an actor.
- Dee Reynolds: Okay, I did try, it just didn't happen to work out.
- Frank Reynolds: It's not your fault, sweetie. You're just not pretty enough.
- Dee Reynolds: Wow, thank you! That's my dad, everybody.
- Dee Reynolds: I am not a failure!
- Mac: Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed?
- Dennis Reynolds: Uh, that would in fact be a failure.
- Mac: Dee is a failure.