Home Movies (TV Series)
The Wizard's Baker (2004)
H. Jon Benjamin: Coach John McGuirk, Jason Penopolis, Perry, Various
Quotes
-
Coach McGuirk : Remember, You made someone do something bad with swords.
-
Coach McGuirk : [Cuts down door with two swords] It's Spaghetti Time!
-
Host : [Coach is watching the Shop at Your House network, where they're selling the "Ultimate Sword Package"] I could see these behind glass in a living room or a den in middle America...
Hostess : Ooh, you paint a pretty picture.
Host : ...put over a hearth or a furnace or whatever you have. I would see these over my work area...
Hostess : As a wall hanging.
Host : ...down in the basement, where I could come down alone after... an argument with my wife...
Mappy : Exactly!
Host : ...and look at the swords, and look at the swords.
Mappy : Take 'em out, too!
Host : And sharpen 'em.
Mappy : Swing 'em around in your backyard.
Host : Yeah, and just have fun with it.
-
Melissa Robbins : Jason, you're blowing the deal!
Jason Penopolis : No, I'm not, it's Brendon, Melissa!
Melissa Robbins : You're the one who dropped the baby!
Jason Penopolis : So, it's a fat baby! How was I suppose to hold it? You try picking it up, Melissa!
Melissa Robbins : I'm not picking up fat babies, Jason!
Jason Penopolis : What's the matter, Melissa, chicken to pick up a fat baby? There it is, pick him up!
-
Coach McGuirk : Hey, My Swords are worth more than all these foods combined.
Clerk : Yes, But we do not accept swords.
Coach McGuirk : Why don't you accept swords?
Clerk : Let me ask my manager.
[Picks up Phone]
Clerk : Uh Yeah, Leo?
[mumbles]
Clerk : call the cops.