Detroit Hoopz

Most dtv flicks - no matter the quality or whenever they entertain you - have one thing in common. A decent box cover where a few dollars got spent. If a title can't even accomplish this basic act ... watch out! Look at what 'Detroit Hoopz' has to offer then act surprised when I tell you the actual movie is just as cheap and not worth watching.

High school basketball players including Eric (Allen Shepherd) are mad destined for greatness. First the college of their choosing next the NBA. Then Eric is asked to come onboard a plan to rob drug dealers and he's in. Starts missing games and his attention is clearly elsewhere which allows former benchwarmer Lamarr (Lamarr Allen) to step in, take the top spot where he performs well. Ripoffs escalate and turn to murder which puts a bullseye on Eric's back. Running out of time, desperate can he plant the whole mess on Lamarr?

Poor picture quality to make you groan. Bad audio so you can't always hear what people are saying. That's already enough to deal with, but add in the cheap guerilla filmmaking done without much skill, sloppy editing, suspect acting and a plot happy to waste time on scenes, misc characters and dialog that serve no purpose.

I caught laughs courtesy of two men that must be cops because they're wearing black t-shirts that say "SWAT" or "POLICE". Jerry Rice "Sports New Correspondent" pieces. Young men always acting hard. Lengthy scenes of rapping high on cringe. An "oh no Jesus" B&W flashback.

Don't buy this. Don't rent this. Don't stream even if it's free. 'Detroit Hoopz' is the longest most boring two hours of your life. Forget about unintentional laughs. This is one trainwreck you don't need to see.