Royal Dano: Hap

Quotes 

• Michael Anthony : [Anthony raps on the boardinghouse room door of Connolly, Hap responds]  Mr. Connolly?

  Hap Connolly : Yeah?

  Michael Anthony : My name is Michael Anthony. I'd like to speak to you for a moment.

  Hap Connolly : Sure. What about?

  Michael Anthony : I have a gift for you.

  Hap Connolly : Huh?

  Michael Anthony : [Looking around the boardinghouse corridor]  It's rather confidential.

  Hap Connolly : Well, come on in.

  [Anthony enters and Connelly shuts the door] 

  Hap Connolly : What's this gift business? Some kind of come-on?

  Michael Anthony : [Anthony opens his briefcase and removes a check]  No. I have a cashier's check made out in your name for one million dollars.

  [Holds up the check before Connelly's eyes] 

  Hap Connolly : Who'd want to give me a million bucks? I mean... what?... Are you kiddin'?

  Michael Anthony : Not at all. It's a gift from an anonymous donor.

  [Connelly finally accepts the check as Anthony removes a paper from his briefcase] 

  Michael Anthony : And it's yours, free and tax-clear, provided you sign this document.

  Hap Connolly : Now comes the hook.

  Michael Anthony : You merely pledge yourself not to tell anyone, except your wife if you should marry, the exact amount of this gift or the way you got it. If you do, you forfeit what's left.

  Hap Connolly : Then this is on the level?

  Michael Anthony : Oh, absolutely.

  [Connelly signs the agreement, which Anthony retains] 

  Michael Anthony : Thank you, Mr. Connolly.

  [Anthony starts to leave] 

  Hap Connolly : [Calling after him]  Who takes the rap if the check bounces?

  Michael Anthony : It won't bounce, I assure you. Goodbye, Mr. Connolly.

  Hap Connolly : Goodbye.