Nancy Cartwright credited as playing...
Bart Simpson • Kearney • Ralph Wiggum • Nelson Muntz • Audience Member #2
- Principal Skinner: First academic alert: Wiggum, Ralph.
- Ralph Wiggum: I won! I won!
- Principal Skinner: No, no, Ralph, this means you're failing English.
- Ralph Wiggum: Me fail English? That's unpossible!
- Lisa: Bart, just get out of here.
- Bart Simpson: Hey, you get out. It's a free country.
- Lisa: That doesn't make any sense.
- Bart Simpson: I know you are, but what am I?
- Lisa: Get out, get out!
- Bart Simpson: All right. But on my way, I'm going to be doing this...
- [windmills his arms]
- Bart Simpson: If you get hit, it's your own fault.
- Lisa: Okay, then I'm going to start kicking air, like this...
- [kicks up her foot]
- Lisa: And if any part of you should fill that air...
- [kicks up her other foot]
- Lisa: It's your own fault.
- [They shut their eyes and move toward each other, grunting as they flail or kick. Cut to downstairs in the kitchen, where Marge and Homer are. Their grunts soon turn to yells of pain, and sounds of fighting]
- [Before the big hockey game]
- Bart Simpson: Good luck, Lis. I'll try not to hurt you.
- Lisa: That's okay, I'm wearing my lucky rabbit's head.
- [reveals it on a string around her neck]
- Bart Simpson: [gasp] Mr. Honeybunny! You inhuman monster!
- Lisa: You want a piece of me?
- [They start fighting, Apu pulls them apart]
- Lisa: Hey, hey! Save this precious hatred for the game!
- [Lisa has received an academic alert that she is failing gym class]
- Marge: Lisa, your father and I are very concerned about this warning. I really hope you try harder.
- Homer: Whew. That's all of 'em.
- [puts stack of academic alerts in front of Bart]
- Homer: And I'm so proud you didn't try to forge my name. How about a present, son?
- Bart: Well, I could use a new pair of hockey skates.
- Homer: Done and done.
- Lisa: That's not fair. Why is Bart getting a present and I'm getting chewed out?
- Homer: [sitting back] Ah, the mysteries of life.
- Lisa: Bart! What are you doing in my room?
- Bart Simpson: Lisa, certain differences, rivalries, if you will have arisen between us. At first, I thought that we could talk it out, like grown-ups, but instead, I just ripped the head off Mr. Honeybunny!
- Lisa: [confused] Bart, that was your cherished childhood toy.
- Bart Simpson: AH! Mr. Honeybunny!
- [puts the head back on and kisses it]
- Edna Krabappel: All right, children, it's book report time. We'll go in alphabetical order. Today will be A-M.
- Bart Simpson: Saved! I love being a S-S-S-S-Simpson!
- Edna Krabappel: Let's see, we have no A's. So we'll go right to the B's. Bart?
- Bart Simpson: Huh?
- Edna Krabappel: Ha!