Danny Masterson credited as playing...
Steven Hyde
- [Kelso is sitting on the basement couch, reading a book. Fez and Hyde enter from Hyde's room]
- Steven Hyde: Kelso, what the hell are you doing with a book?
- Michael Kelso: Reading.
- [Hyde and Fez snicker]
- Michael Kelso: I *am* reading, 'cause what good is having brains if you got nothing up here?
- [Kelso taps his skull. Jackie comes down the stairs]
- Jackie Burkhart: Hey.
- [Jackie and Hyde kiss, then sit down]
- Jackie Burkhart: So, I saw my Dad in prison today.
- Steven Hyde: Oh. How was it?
- Jackie Burkhart: Well, first it was a real downer. Then I realized that I'll be okay without my Dad because the SAT proved that there's another man who could take care of me.
- Steven Hyde: You'd better be talking about Santa Claus.
- Jackie Burkhart: No, Steven, I'm talking about you, because you have potential.
- Michael Kelso: He doesn't have potential! *I* have potential! Like, I'm reading "Moby Dick" and I'm not even halfway through, and I can already tell you the ending: the whale is a robot.
- Michael Kelso: If being smart isn't gonna help me with the chicks, I want no part of it! I'm gonna go back to coasting on my good looks. Plus, my brains'll always be there and if I need 'em, I'll just whip 'em out like an emergency rocket pack.
- Steven Hyde: [Smirking] That's a good plan, man!
- Michael Kelso: [Scoffing] Beats the hell outta reading!