- [as the camera stalks a guy who had just smashed some giant eggs]
- Tom Servo: BAWK! BAWK! BAWK! CLUCK! CLUCK!
- Crow T. Robot: [when people start to leave the room with the dead woman] Come on breakfast is getting cold and she isn't any warmer.
- Tommy: Trumpy, I told you to stay outside. Nobody must see you.
- Tom Servo: He doesn't speak your language dickweed!
- Tommy: You know sooner or later mommy's going to notice all this food disappearing.
- Tom Servo: Then you'll have to kill her!
- Tommy: [after Tommy puts the lid back on the jar of peanuts] These we'll put away for later.
- Crow T. Robot: [impersonating Trumpy] No, more.
- Tommy: Now we can play.
- Crow T. Robot: Like hell! More food!
- Tommy: Do you know what play is Trumpy.
- [Trumpy shakes his head]
- Tommy: Well what do you know?
- Crow T. Robot: Food, eating, the theater!
- Tommy: Trumpy you can do magic!
- Crow T. Robot: [Trumpy turns around to face the audience with eyes glowing] It's called evil kid.
- Tom Servo: Hey he's got his high beams on!
- Joel, Crow, Gypsy, Servo: [singing] Hear the engines roll now! / Idiot control now! / Hideous control now! / Ninny on the road now!
- [Tom narrates over the movie's cheesy synthesizer soundtrack:]
- Tom Servo: Tonight on Music from The Hearts of Space, we'll go on a cosmic joyride with some space music by various bay area artists.
- [Later:]
- Tom Servo: First up on Hearts of Space, John Tesh with "Whispering Firestorm." Then it's Yani with, "SnoreMaster of Trafalgamar." Then comes bay area musician DelMondo with his, "Sominex Suite in B-flat." Then a synthesized interplanetary salute to Perry Como. At the end of the hour, we'll have information about the types of sedatives used by tonight's artists, on Music... from... The Hearts... of Space.
- TV's Frank: That's right. You know all the fads with the young people today? You know the kids today, with their loud music, hula hoops, fax machines... But the biggest fad these days: karaoke! Wew! Yuk-e-yeeeewh! What we've done is we've invented a karaoke machine that exclusively plays public domain songs. That's right, that means you can sing into your karaoke machine, have as much fun as you want, and not pay one cent in artist royalties.
- Dr. Forrester: That's right, Frank. Now, what happens when you go into your favorite karaoke bar and you want to hear "I Want to Know What Love Is" by Foreigner?
- TV's Frank: People vomit?
- Dr. Forrester: No... Lou Gramm, songwriter and Chess King spokesmodel gets a big fat royalty check! And that means lots of money. So, Joel, we've loaded our machine only with public domain songs. All free of copyright, all owned by you, the people.
- TV's Frank: That's right, you want to hit the roll there, Jerry?
- Dr. Forrester: You get the "Battle Hymn of the Republic"...
- TV's Frank: The immortal "baa baa black sheep"...
- Dr. Forrester: The turgid and bittersweet "Gregorian Chant #5"...
- TV's Frank: The impish "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"...
- Dr. Forrester: Mozart's "The Magic Flute," and there's so much more! But your experiment this week, Joel, is called Pod People. It has nothing to do with pods. It has nothing to do with people. It has everything to do with hurting! And we're going to sing you into it with our new Public Domain Karaoke Machine. Hit it, Frank.
- Dr. Forrester: Aaaaaaaaaaveeeeeeeee Maaaaaariiiiiiaaaaaaa!
- TV's Frank: Aaaaaaaaaaveeeeeeeee Maaaaaariiiiiiaaaaaaa!
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