- Archie Bunker: I says, "Edith, Darling, what is, is" and then I said, "Edith, Darlin, what was, was". And finally, I say, "Edith, Darling, what's going to be, is going to be". But your mother in-law don't know nothin' about philosophy.
- [Mikes stares blankly at him]
- Archie Bunker: Don't seem like you know a hell of a lot about it yourself.
- Edith Bunker: I gotta get the cranberry sauce.
- Archie Bunker: Edith, the lord and me don't give a damn about cranberry sauce.
- [after playing a game of Karate Men]
- Mike Stivic: You're a sore loser.
- Archie: I am not. You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over.