John DiMaggio en el papel de...
Bender • Car Smasher #1 • Sal
- Uncle Vladimir: Come, Bender. You'll like being dead.
- Bender: That's what they said about being alive!
- Will Reader: To my loyal butler, You There, for his decades of service, I leave a pittance, to be paid in twenty equal installments of one-twentieth of a pittance each.
- [Butler cries]
- Will Reader: To my lazy, spoiled son Tandy, who never understood the value of a dollar, I leave my entire $20 million fortune.
- Tandy: Is that a lot?
- Will Reader: And to my loving nephew Bender, assuming he's not the cause of my demise, I leave my castle.
- Bender: Yes! Let's stay there tonight!
- Will Reader: On condition that he spend one night within its walls.
- Bender: Oh, man, there's always a catch!
- [Bender, Fry, and Leela are looking for the original were-car]
- Robot Farmer: Ye think me be he?
- Bender: Si!
- Robot Farmer: Ni! I mean no.
- [last lines]
- Fry: You didn't hurt me at all! But I know you wanted to, and *that's* what matters.
- [Fry takes out a bottle of beer]
- Fry: [drinks it] Ah.
- Bender: [suddenly angry] Hey, that's my last beer! You bastard! I'll kill you!
- Fry: [friendly tone] I'll kill you too, buddy. I'll kill you too.
- [Bender starts choking Fry]
- Hermes Conrad: And for Bender... Uh-oh. A black-bordered envelope.
- Amy Wong: Oh, no! Someone you know must have died.
- Bender: I hope it was one of my enemies. Those guys suck.
- Hermes Conrad: Bender, mon, no one's trying to run you over. Stop being a big, hallucinating baby.
- Bender: Yeah? Could a big, hallucinating baby do this?... Waah-ha-ha! I'm scared!
- Bender: I got a good vibe from this place. Nice, long dinner table; quiet, well behaved spiders; graveyard adjacent; Yep, this is going to be... Aah!
- Leela: What is it?
- Bender: That painting! The eyes are watching me!
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: It has motorized sensors attached to motion detectors.
- Bender: So does my butt, but I don't frame it and put it on the wall. Although...
- Bender: No doubt about it. This place must be haunted.
- Hermes Conrad: Don't be silly, mon. The last ghost died over 200 years ago.
- Bender: The last *human* ghost. But robot ghosts... Ooooh!
- [Leela, Bender and Fry find Project Satan looking miserable next to a burning furnace in the abandoned Automobile Lab]
- Leela: It looks so unhappy.
- [Leela approaches Project Satan]
- Leela: Excuse me. Are you Project Satan?
- [growling miserably, Project Satan turns to face Leela]
- Leela: Don't be afraid. We know what you are.
- Project Satan: [downcast] You do?
- Leela: [Fry and Bender come over] Would you like us to... put you out of your misery?
- Project Satan: [suddenly perks up with an evil tone] Misery? What misery? I *love* killing people! Squishing them 'til their organs squirt out like chunky mustard!
- Bender: [reasoning] Look, everyone loves killing people, but I don't wanna hurt my friends.
- [Fry puts his robotic arms around Fry and Leela, but Fry shakes him off and walks away as a bell chimes outside and Bender's arms turn into wheels]
- Leela: Oh, no! It's midnight!
- Bender: [turning evil] Hey, this is starting to feel pretty good!
- [Bender laughs and Project Satan laughs with him]
- [Bender fully transforms into the Were-Car as Project Satan pulls up beside him]
- Project Satan: [evilly] Take whichever one you want!
- Bender: [excited] Oh, boy! I feel like a car in a Candy Store!
- [Bender decides between Fry and Leela and chases after Fry]
- Fry: [running] Yes! He chose me! He's trying to kill *me*!
- [Project Satan lands on a ramp, chuckles but then sees that he's heading towards the fiery furnace, he brakes but slides sideways into the furnace and melts, lifting the curse and Bender, still in mid-air between ramps, transforms back into a robot]
- Bender: Uh-oh!
- [Bender crash-lands at the bottom of the other ramp]
- Leela: [runs over as Bender gets up] Bender! You're cured! But what happened to Fry?
- Bender: [emotionally] I must've killed him! He was my *best friend*! And I killed him! Ahh! I never felt so empty inside!
- [Bender's door opens, revealing Fry alive cooped up inside]
- Fry: [relieved] Bender! I'm alive!
- [Fry climbs out]
- Fry: You didn't hurt me at all!