South Park (TV Series)

Red Hot Catholic Love (2002)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Randy Marsh, Catholic Boat Singer, Mr. Tweek, Chris Stotch, Miss Ganesh, Craig's Father, Priest #1, Priest #3, Cardinal #1, Cardinal #2, British Bishop, Galgamex Bishop, Black Bishop #1, Tom the News Reader, Martha Stewart, Catholic Guard, The Great Queen Spider, British Cardinal

Quotes 

• Kyle : What are you guys doing?

  Stan : We had to go meet with this counselor lady... and she asked us if the priest ever put anything in our butts.

  Kyle : In your butts?

  Cartman : Yeah, isn't it the damndest thing?

  Chef : [enters]  Hello there, children!

  Stan : Chef! What would a priest want to stick up my butt?

  Chef : Goodbye!

• Cartman : Let's see. If you put food in your mouth, you crap out your butt. Maybe if you put food up your butt then you crap out your mouth.

  Kyle : Get real, Cartman. It doesn't work that way.

• Stan : What would a priest possibly want to stick in our butts?

  Cartman : Maybe... no...

• Cartman : Oh dude, I think I might have it!

  Stan : What?

  Cartman : It makes perfect sense, okay, run with me on this. If you eat food, you crap out your butt, right?

  Kyle : Yeah?

  Cartman : Okay, now keep with me here, it gets a little complicated. If you eat food and crap out your butt, then maybe if you stuck food up your butt, you would crap out your mouth.

  [Long silence] 

  Cartman : Mm?

  Kyle : Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said! This week.

• [Cartman put food up his butt trying to make it come out his mouth] 

  Kyle : Come on, Cartman, hurry up. It's been 10 minutes.

  Cartman : Jesus Christ, man. Give a guy some time to crap!

• Martha Stewart : Now, the key to shoving a turkey up your ass is first wrapping it in string, keeping the pointy wings neatly at the side.

• Martha Stewart : Now, we're going to baste the turkey with lubricating gel rather than with juice to help smooth the insertion later on.