Eddie Murphy nel ruolo di...
Dave • Captain
- Captain: I am Dave Ming Chang.
- No. 3 - Cultural Officer: I am Dave Ming Chang.
- Various crew members: I am Dave Ming Chang.
- [etc]
- No. 4 - Security Officer: And I am Johnny Dazzle!
- [everyone stares at him.]
- No. 4 - Security Officer: What? Not everyone has to be Dave Ming Chang.
- Gina Morrison: [Dave is looking at a picture of Gina's late husband.] Captain?
- Dave: Yes?
- Gina Morrison: That's my husband. He was a captain with the Navy.
- Dave: I am a captain.
- Gina Morrison: Really? A captain of what?
- [Inside the ship, Number 3 looks something up.]
- Dave: I am a captain of crunch.
- [in an alley outside Gina's apartment sometime after she hits Dave with her car]
- Gina Morrison: Hi, are you all right? Because you just ran off!
- Captain: Contact, everyone! Our first verbal encounter!
- [into microphone]
- Captain: Thank you for your concern.
- Dave: [speaks with extremely high pitch; bottles explode in background]
- Captain: It's way too high! More bass!
- Dave: [speaks in extremely low pitch]
- Captain: Level the frequency!
- Dave: [speaking perfectly] I'm all better now.
- Josh: [to Gina] How hard did you hit this guy?
- Gina Morrison: I'm Gina, by the way. Gina Morrison.
- [pauses, waiting for him to tell her his name.]
- Gina Morrison: And you are?
- Captain: 3?
- No. 3 - Cultural Officer: This is a list of the most common names on this planet.
- Captain: My name is...
- Dave: Ming Chang.
- Gina Morrison: Ming Chang?
- [laughs]
- Gina Morrison: Sorry, sorry, you just struck me more like a "Dave" or something.
- Dave: Which happens to be my other name.
- Gina Morrison: Dave...Ming Chang?
- Dave: Dave Ming Chang.
- Captain: Lieutenant Bottoms, what is your status?
- Lieutenant Bottoms: Captain, we had a small gas leak. It was silent, but not deadly.
- Gina Morrison: So, where are you from? Do you live around here?
- Dave: Yes, of course. I am just a regular person from right here on Earth, just like you. I just don't get out that much.
- Gina Morrison: Yeah, judging from your suit, I'd say since about 1978.
- [laughs]
- Captain: Note: all-white apparel is not as standardized as we thought.
- Gina Morrison: [laughing] You late for a Bee Gees concert or something?
- Dave: Bee Gees. Barry, Robin and Maurice. The brothers Gibb. Winning ten Grammy Awards and selling over 100 million records.
- Dave: [high-pitched, fast singing] Well, you can tell by the way I can use my walk / I'm a woman's man, no time to talk / Eh, Eh, Eh, Eh, Stayin' Alive / Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
- [last lines]
- No. 3 - Cultural Officer: I didn't think we'd make it out of there, Captain. Good thing you have such big feet.
- Captain: We'll have much to explain when we return home.
- No. 3 - Cultural Officer: We'll find another way to save Nil. There are plenty of worlds out there for us to explore.
- Captain: Yes, Number 3. But what we learned on Earth is more valuable than all the salt in the galaxy. And when we do return, it looks like I'll be needing a new Number 2.
- No. 3 - Cultural Officer: I think you'll be needing more than that.
- [they kiss; the crew cheers]
- Captain: Cue the new anthem.
- Captain: [after getting knocked out by a baseball and is shocked with a defibrillator] Power has been restored!
- Captain: [after getting "knocked out" by a baseball and is hit with a defibrillator] Power has been restored!
- Captain: Number 3, do we have significant linguistic information to communicate with these natives?
- No. 3 - Cultural Officer: Yes, I tapped into their central planetary database named "Google."
- Captain: What a frivolous name for such a vital function.
- No. 3 - Cultural Officer: Well, if you prefer, there's another called "Ya Hoo."
- Captain: Baffling!
- Gina Morrison: Dave, I feel just terrible about this whole thing...uh, and I was gonna have some breakfast. Would you like to join me?
- Dave: No, I really have to be going now.
- Gina Morrison: Are you sure? I mean, I sort of have a rule that when I hit somebody with my car, I need to make them breakfast!
- [she laughs, Dave doesn't.]
- Gina Morrison: That was a joke.
- Dave: [blankly] Hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahaha ahaha ha hahahahahahahaha. Woo-hoo, woo!
- [they finish watching "It's a Wonderful Life."]
- Captain: [crying] "Lasso the moon". Physically impossible!
- No. 3 - Cultural Officer: [crying] Absurd.
- [Dave is dancing with Gina]
- No. 2 - 2nd In Command: Sir, we already have the orb. There's no need to continue this charade.
- Captain: Not now, Number 2! I'm trying to let the music take me!