South Park (TV Series)

Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow (2005)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, TV Announcer, Tom the News Reader, Mitch the News Reporter, Randy Marsh, Interviewee #2, Interviewee #3, Mr. Mackey, Scientist #2, Man in Crowd #3, Man in Crowd #4, Stephen Stotch, Ms. Garrison, Tom the Fox News Reader, Officer Barbrady, Man on Rooftop #1, Man on Rooftop #2, Mr. Tucker, Man in Community Centre #1, Soldier, The Crab People, Man at End #1, Man at End #2, Man at End #5, Man at End #6, Man at End #8, Man at End #9, Man at End #10, Man at End #12, Man at End #15

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kyle : Can you believe it, Stan? I never thought global warming could happen so fast. I guess I didn't listen.

  Stan : Kyle, it... it isn't global warming.

  Kyle : Huh?

  Stan : Global warming isn't happening right now. It's not what caused the Beaverton flood.

  Kyle : How do you know that?

  Stan : Because I know what did cause the flood.

  Kyle : George Bush?

  Stan : No.

  Kyle : Terrorists?

  Stan : No.

  Kyle : Communists?

  Stan : No.

  Kyle : Chinese radicals?

  Stan : No.

  Kyle : Cartman?

  Stan : Sorta.

  Kyle : Cartman flooded Beaverton?

  Stan : Shhhh! Not exactly. We were messing around on this guy's new boat and Cartman egged me on, and I crashed it into the Beaverton dam.

  Kyle : Dude, you have to tell everybody! Right now!

  Cartman : Hey Stan. Aw, goddamn it, you told Kyle, didn't you?

  Kyle : Stan, people in Beaverton are still trapped on the roofs! Nobody's helping them because they think they can't go outside!

  Cartman : Aw, here we go, see, I told you! If you're so caring, Kyle, why don't you share some of your Jew gold with the people caught in the flood?

• Randy Marsh : [making a diagram of global warming damage]  Everyone below this line needs to be evacuated. Everyone above this line is already dead. We're stuck here in the middle. These states might be okay, they're balmy. New York is gonna have huge tidal waves that affect this whole area.

  [someone giggles] 

  Randy Marsh : What?

  [looks at the board and realized his diagram looks like a penis] 

  Randy Marsh : Oh, godammit! Godammit!

  [erases it] 

• Mitch the News Reporter : We believe that the death toll may be in the hundreds of millions. Beaverton has only a population of about 8000, Tom, so this would be quite devastating.

• Mitch the News Reporter : We're not sure what exactly is going on inside the town of Beaverton, Tom, but we're reporting that there's looting, raping, and yes, even acts of cannibalism.

  Tom Pusslicker : My God, you've actually seen people looting, raping and eating each other?

  Mitch the News Reporter : No, no, we haven't actually seen it, Tom, we're just reporting it.

• Stan : Oh God, I hope I didn't hurt any beavers!