Dan Castellaneta aufgeführt in der Rolle von...
Homer Simpson • Santa's Little Helper • Barney Gumble • Duff Brewery Clock • Commercial Announcer #1 • John F. Kennedy • Hans Moleman • Man at Science Fair • Commercial Man #1 • Jub-Jub
- [during the 1960 vice-presidential debates on TV]
- John F. Kennedy: I would like to take this opportunity to express my fondness for Duff beer.
- [cheers]
- Richard Nixon: Uh, I'd also like to express my fondness for that particular beer.
- [boos]
- Homer: The man never drank a Duff in his life.
- Marge Simpson: Homey, I'd like you to do something for me.
- Homer Simpson: You name it.
- Marge Simpson: I want you to give up beer for a month.
- Homer Simpson: You got it. No deer for a month.
- Marge Simpson: Did you say beer, or deer?
- Homer Simpson: [pause] Deer.
- Homer: [get up and yawns] Well, time to go to work.
- Homer's Mind: Little do they know, I'm ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour.
- Homer: Roll in at nine, punch out at five; that's the plan!
- Homer's Mind: Heh, heh, heh! They don't suspect a thing.
- [beat]
- Homer's Mind: Well, off to the plant!
- Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery...
- Homer's Mind: Uh-oh. Did I say that, or just think it?
- Homer: I gotta think of a line fast!
- Marge Simpson: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?
- [Homer screams and runs away to his car]
- Rev. Lovejoy: Now Homer, feel free to tell us anything. There's no judgment here.
- Homer: The other day I was so desperate for a beer that I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.
- Rev. Lovejoy: I cast thee out!
- Judge: Your license is hereby revoked and you are to attend traffic school and two months of Alc-Anon meetings.
- Homer Simpson: Your honor, I'd like that last remark stricken from the record.
- Judge: No.
- Homer Simpson: I'm here for the Alc-Anon meeting.
- Rev. Lovejoy: Mm-hm. Third door on your left.
- [Jasper walks up]
- Rev. Lovejoy: Coping with senility?
- Jasper: No. I'm here for Microwave Cookery. No, wait.
- [pause]
- Jasper: Coping with senility.
- Homer Simpson: [Homer pours his Duff Beer down the drain] Well beer, we've had some good times.
- [singing]
- Homer Simpson: When I was 17, I drank some very good beer. I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake I.D. My name was Brian McGee, I stayed up listening to Queen, when I was 17.
- Homer Simpson: What's your project for the science fair, Boy?
- Bart Simpson: I thought I'd do a study on the effects of cigarette smoking on dogs
- [Santa's Little Helper comes in with a cigarette in his mouth]
- Marge Simpson: Bart, don't give cigarettes to the dog!
- Tour Guide: Now, this is the most important man on the tour. He's in charge of quality control.
- Phil: [removes a bottle from a conveyor belt if it contains an unsavoury object] Fine. Fine. Mouse. Fine. Mouse. Rat. Fine. Syringe. Fine. Nose. Fine.
- Barney Gumble: Lemme just say, you're doin' a great job, Phil!
- Phil: Hey, thanks a lot. That makes it all worthwhile.
- [distracted, he fails to notice bottles containing false teeth, a severed finger and a three-eyed fish, as well as a jar containing Adolf Hitler's severed head, pass by on the belt]
- Selma Bouvier: Thank you all for coming. We've got some very exciting new developments in the field of Supperware. This is the 128-ounce tub. You can fit your whole head in it.
- [She does so, her pet iguana recoils]
- Selma Bouvier: Don't be scared, Jub-Jub. It's Mama.
- Homer: [under his breath] I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
- Homer Simpson: Mmm... gummi beer.
- [Eats a handful of the sweets. Barney is lying on his back, drinking directly from the tap of a barrel]
- Homer Simpson: Hey, Barney. I think you've had enough.
- Barney Gumble: Are you crazy? We still haven't tried Raspberry Duff, Lady Duff, Tartar Control Du... uuh...
- [Falls off the ledge and passes out]