Tracy Grandstaff: Daria Morgendorffer

The Lost Girls

Daria Morgendorffer

[a teen magazine editor asks Daria for her definition of "Edgy"]
Daria Morgendorffer: As far as I can make out, "edgy" occurs when middlebrow, middle-aged profiteers are looking to suck the energy - not to mention the spending money - out of the "youth culture." So they come up with this fake concept of seeming to be dangerous when every move they make is the result of market research and a corporate master plan.

Val: Waterproof eye makeup is so important, Dar. And glitter- I'm really into glitter these days. It makes everyone feel like a star. Are you getting this, Dar? Why don't you read me back your notes?
Daria Morgendorffer: Okay. "What am I doing here? How am I going to get through this? Dear God, help me."

Val: [Talking on the phone] How can I not appeal to their demographic? They are so WHACK. I AM their demographic! They wouldn't know edgy if it bit them in the butt! Oh, confirm my hair color appointment and facial for tomorrow, would ya? And work up a schedule for my girlfriend Dar's visit. Thanks for saving my life, helpmate!
[Hangs up]
Val: I'm zonked. Collaborating is hard, don't you think?
Daria Morgendorffer: How would I know?
Val: Sorry about all those phone calls.
Daria Morgendorffer: Oh, I just think of it as being a witness to history. Anyway, it isn't everyday your boyfriend dumps you for a starlet.
Val: I was NOT dumped! And I am much more famous than that pathetic, B-list, pseudo celebrity! Not that the suits who control the airwaves would know. Sometimes I feel like the whole adult world is against youth culture.
Daria Morgendorffer: Except the adults making a nice fat living off of it.
Val: What do you mean?
Daria Morgendorffer: What do YOU mean? What do you mean, pushing yourself as some kind of role-model when all you care about is how you look and what celebrities you know? Aren't teenage girls screwed up enough without you foisting your shallow values on them and making their lousy self images even worse?

Quinn Morgendorffer: "Spotlight: Lawndale Fashion Club - A Val Magazine Special Photo Spread." What do you think?
Daria Morgendorffer: I think the world's gone mad. Mad, I tell you.
Quinn Morgendorffer: This is our chance to be the next international style center.
Daria Morgendorffer: Paris. New York. Milan. Lawndale.

Val: Now look here, missy. I mean, what are you, Dar, a teacher? I am a role model! I'm in touch with the teen within.
Daria Morgendorffer: Why don't you get in touch with the 30-something without?

Daria Morgendorffer: As far as I can make out, 'edgy' occurs when middle-brow, middle-age profiteers are looking to suck the energy, not to mention the spending money, out of the quote, unquote youth culture. So they come up with this big concept of seeming to be dangerous, when every move they make is the result of market research and a corporate master plan.