George Lopez nel ruolo di...
George Lopez
- George Lopez: [to Max about Veronica] Max, she's your first cousin and you have dyslexia. If you have kids with her, your mom and I will have to pay a dollar to visit our grandkids at the circus.
- Claudia: [on her video will about who will be the trustee of Veronica's inheritance money] Will Vic Palmero please step forward.
- [Vic steps forward]
- Claudia: Okay, now bend over and kiss George Lopez's ass because I pick him.
- [everyone looks at George in shock]
- George Lopez: [laughs] In your face! You heard her, Vic! Kiss it!
- George Lopez: I'll take a shot of beer and two olives to shove in my ears so I don't have to listen to these people.
- Veronica Palmero: Yeah, my family's easier to deal with after a couple of drinks.
- George Lopez: You know, a good bartender just listens.
- Veronica Palmero: And a good uncle recognizes his own goddaughter.
- George Lopez: Yeah, probably.
- Veronica Palmero: You're just jealous because you're poor.
- George Lopez: Oh, no she didn't! I'm not poor! I own a house, three cars and hundreds of dollars of change somewhere on this property.
- George Lopez: Look, I know you don't want to hear it, but this is what dads say. Someday you'll thank me for this.
- Veronica Palmero: This is so unfair!
- George Lopez: Oh, I know the answer to that one, too, whatcha: who said life was fair?
- George Lopez: Veronica! You're all grown up! The last time I saw you, you had a ponytail and baby fat.
- Veronica Palmero: So did you.
- George Lopez: At least I didn't have a full diaper. You see, you don't wanna play this game.
- Angie Lopez: Veronica has really changed. Her mother died and all she cares about is the money!
- George Lopez: Not all families mourn, Angie. Some just cash in a gold tooth and throw a party.
- George Lopez: [after he and Angie find women's underwear, perfume, and earrings in Max's bookbag] We should have seen this coming when he started lining his army men in a chorus line!
- George Lopez: Why are you treating her so nice? I'm the trustee.
- Benny: George, George, my little boy. Remember when I used to hold you?
- George Lopez: That's cause you were drunk and had the spins. Beat it, bat!
- Veronica Palmero: We walked home.
- George Lopez: Why didn't you take a cab?
- Veronica Palmero: I spent all my money!
- George Lopez: On what?
- Veronica Palmero: I'll give you a hint... I'm kind of like these chips... baked!
- George Lopez: You got high?
- Veronica Palmero: Whoa, is it just me or have we been talking for like, an hour?
- Vic Palermo: George, there's something I have to get off my chest.
- George Lopez: 65 years of Cuban hair? The hedge trimmer's over there. Rinse it off when you're done.
- George Lopez: While you're here, you're going to get an allowance.
- Veronica Palmero: At home I used to get $500 a week.
- George Lopez: Ta loca $500, I'll give you $40.
- Veronica Palmero: Forty dollars? Is this a maturity test?
- [wide eyed]
- Veronica Palmero: You're trying to see if I'll cry!
- George Lopez: [weepy voice] You know who cries? BABIES!