Music and Lyrics (2007)

Brad Garrett: Chris Riley

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chris Riley : Why do you have a plant lady? Why do you even have plants?

  Alex Fletcher : Because, from time to time, ladies accompany me back to the apartment and one of them once mentioned that plants make women comfortable.

  Chris Riley : Is that true? Plants make women comfortable? Well, maybe if I had plants I'd still be married.

  Alex Fletcher : Yes, I think that was the problem; not Susan's affair and raging nymphomania, but your lack of vegetation.

• Alex Fletcher : I slept with Sophie.

  Chris Riley : [yelling]  You slept with Sophie?

  Alex Fletcher : Now remember your blood pressure. You're a tall man, you need all the pressure you can get!

  Chris Riley : This is horrible Alex, this is very bad! Unless you're happy about this in which case I couldn't be more pleased for you... Should we do pros and cons?

• Chris Riley : So; Cora Corman - how great is that, huh? Do you believe it?

  Alex Fletcher : Wait wait wait - is it even a good idea? Pros and cons.

  Chris Riley : Pros: she's a huge star. Great publicity. Terrific money.

  Alex Fletcher : And cons?

  Chris Riley : No matter what you do, in forty years we'll both be dead.

  Alex Fletcher : Okay, so huge star, great publicity, terrific money, versus eventual death. Well, I think we have to think about it.

• Alex Fletcher : I've a strange situation here.

  Chris Riley : Oh, you've got a strange situation? I'm at Beth's soccer game with my ex-wife who's here with my ex-gardener. They came on a riding mower.

• Chris Riley : Alright, it's my fault and I hate myself for it, but I'm not upset, and do you know why?

  Alex Fletcher : You've been at my liquor?