- [after being kicked out of a theme park]
- Bender: Yeah, well... I'm gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!
- Dr. Zoidberg: Now open your mouth and lets have a look at that brain.
- [Fry opens his mouth]
- Dr. Zoidberg: No, no, not that mouth.
- Fry: I only have one.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Really?
- Fry: Uh... is there a human doctor around?
- Dr. Zoidberg: Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it and say "brglgrglgrrr"!
- Fry: Uh... brglgrglgrglgrrr!
- Dr. Zoidberg: What? My mother was a saint! Get out!
- Moon Rover Ride Narrator: No one really knows when, where, or how man landed on the moon...
- Fry: I do!
- Moon Rover Ride Narrator: ...but our Fungineers imagine it went something like this.
- [Animatronic whalers emerge from a lunar lander]
- Animatronic Whalers: [singing] We're whalers on the moon.
- Animatronic Gophers, Animatronic Gophers: We carry a harpoon.
- Animatronic Whalers, Animatronic Gophers, Leela: But there are no whales, so we tell tall tales and sing a whaling tune.
- Fry: That's not how it happened.
- Leela: Oh, really? I don't see you with a Fungineering degree.
- Craterface: Welcome to Luna Park, I'm Craterface. I'm going to have to confiscate your alcohol, sir.
- Bender: Ah, better looking mascots than you have tried.
- [sticks bottle in Craterface's eye]
- Craterface: At least I still have my self respect.
- [laughs, then sobs]
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Now that you're our new employees, I'd like you to have a look at our commercial. I paid to have it aired during the Super Bowl.
- Fry: Wow.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Not on the same channel, of course...
- Hermes Conrad: Okay, captain, this is just a standard legal release, protecting Planet Express from lawsuits in the event of the unforeseen.
- Leela: [reading] "Death by airlock failure... "
- Hermes Conrad: Mm-hm.
- Leela: "... death by brain parasite... "
- Hermes Conrad: Yah.
- Leela: "... death by sonic diarrhea... "
- Hermes Conrad: Oho, you don't want that.
- Leela: Look, I don't know about your previous captains, but I intend to do as little dying as possible.
- Hermes Conrad: Ohohohohohohoho... Sign the paper.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh, dear. I really ought to do something. But I am already in my pajamas.
- Leela: Our car broke down and we're low on oxygen. Can we borrow some?
- Moon Farmer: Borry? Listen here, city girl. Oxygen doesn't grow on trees. You'll have to work it off doing chores on my hydroponic farm. You can go back to your precious park at sun-up.
- Fry: I guess we can do chores for a few hours.
- Leela: Fry, night lasts two weeks on the moon.
- Moon Farmer: Yep, drops down to minus-173.
- Fry: Celsius or Fahrenheit?
- Moon Farmer: First one, then the other.
- [about Dr. Zoidberg]
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Now Fry, before you go into space you'll need to see our staff doctor. I should warn you though, he's a little... um, unusual
- [whispering]
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: He wears sandals.
- [Fry and Leela are taking a ride on the Moon Park]
- Moon Rover Ride Narrator: The story of lunar exploration started with one man - a man with a dream.
- Animatronic Ralph Kramden: One of these days, Alice. Bang. Zoom. Straight to the moon.
- Leela: Wow! I never realized the first astronauts were so fat.
- Fry: That's not an astronaut, it's a TV comedian! And he was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife.
- Fry: Hey, I got everyone magnets.
- [puts one on Bender's head]
- Bender: Get it off! Get it off! Oh-oh. How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a... Aaoow!
- [Fry removes magnet]
- Bender: Don't ever do that! Magnets interfer with my inhibition unit.
- Fry: So you flip out and start acting like a folk singer?
- Bender: Yes. Although a robot would have to be crazy to be a folk singer.
- Bender: [singing, to the tune of "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain"] Well, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, / Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, / Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun, / Oh, I'll shoot her with my ray gun, / Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, / When she comes! / I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world, / I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world, / I'll be blastin' all the humans, / I'll be blastin' all the humans, / I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world, / In the world!
- [spoken]
- Bender: One more time!
- Fry: Look! It's the moon landing site! We found it!
- Leela: Fry, get in here.
- Fry: It's that flag from MTV, and Neil Armstrong's footprint!
- [Puts his foot over Armstrong's footprint, leaving a Nike footprint in its place]
- Fry: Hey, my foot's bigger. Leela, isn't this the greatest thing you've ever seen?
- Leela: Fry, look around! It's just a crummy plastic flag and a dead man's tracks in the dust. Now get in here before you freeze.
- [a commercial for Farnsworth's delivery company]
- H.G. Blob: Evans! Where's that package from Earth?
- Employee: Uh...
- [H.G. Blob swallows him whole]
- Employee: I'm not Evans!
- H.G. Blob: He should've used Planet Express!
- Commercial Narrator: When those other companies aren't brave or foolhardy enough to go, trust Planet Express for reliable on-time deliveries!
- Evans: Here's your package, Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob!
- H.G. Blob: Good work, Evans! You've got a future around here!
- [swallows him whole]
- Evans: Thank you, sir!
- Moon Farmer: [about the amusement park] Oooh, that's a wicked, sinful place. Tilt-a-Whirl's okay, but the rest is mighty wicked.
- [a commercial for Farnsworth's delivery company]
- Horrible Gelatinous Blob: Evans! Where's that package from Earth?
- Not Evans: Uh...
- [H.G. Blob swallows him whole]
- Not Evans: I'm not Evans!
- Horrible Gelatinous Blob: He should've used Planet Express!
- Commercial Announcer: When those other companies aren't brave of foolhardy enough to go, trust Planet Express for reliable on-time deliveries!
- Evans: Here's your package, Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob!
- Horrible Gelatinous Blob: Good work, Evans! You've got a future around here!
- [swallows him whole]
- Evans: Thank you, sir!
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [Takes Bender's head off for cleaning] My goodness, Bender. You're filthy.
- Bender: Yeah, like you don't have crap in your neck.
- Fry: Look, Leela. I'm sorry. I never should have dragged you out here.
- Leela: That's right, you shouldn't have. I still don't get what the big attraction is.
- Fry: I never told anybody this, but a thousand years ago I used to look up at the moon and dream about being an astronaut. I just didn't have the grades, or the physical endurance. Plus I threw up a lot, and nobody liked spending a week with me.
- Leela: A week would be a little much.
- Fry: The moon was like this awesome, romantic, mysterious thing, hanging up there in the sky where you could never reach it, no matter how much you wanted to. But you're right. Once you're actually here, it's just a big, dull rock. I guess I just wanted you to see it through my eyes, the way I used to.
- [the window reflects off Fry's helmet; Leela looks outside and sees a beautiful moonscape with the Earth in the sky]
- Leela: Fry, look. It really is beautiful. I don't know why I never noticed it before.
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