Jewel Staite: Heidi Gotts

Quotes 

• Jaye Tyler : Do you think Eric loves her? I mean, like, really loves her?

  Mahandra McGinty : She's his wife.

  Jaye Tyler : I know. But, like, really, really loves her?

  Heidi Gotts : [walking in on them]  Yes, he does.

  Mahandra McGinty : Whoops.

  Heidi Gotts : In fact, he loves me so much, he married me twice.

  Jaye Tyler : If you hadn't wiped yourself with your first wedding vows, you wouldn't have had to get them renewed.

  Heidi Gotts : Oh, sigh. Whatever scars I've given Eric are healing. And they'd heal a lot faster if you stopped picking at 'em and leave us alone.

  Jaye Tyler : I was leaving you alone plenty before you came through that door.

  Heidi Gotts : No, you were stalking my husband at his workplace, which is no longer his workplace 'cause he just quit.

  Jaye Tyler : What?

  Heidi Gotts : We're going back to Jersey. My sins have been paid for. Honeymoon purgatory is coming to an end.

  Mahandra McGinty : That's so sad. Heidi-ho gotta go.

  Heidi Gotts : You almost had him, huh? For a second there, I thought it was gonna be you kissing the groom on my wedding night. But only for a second.

• Heidi Gotts : Everything go okay?

  Eric Gotts : Yeah, great. I gave my notice.

  Heidi Gotts : Notice? I thought you were gonna quit.

  Eric Gotts : They need two weeks to find a replacement. They gave me a job and a bed. It's the least I can do.

  Heidi Gotts : Eric, I wanna go home.

  Eric Gotts : It's just for two weeks. We can stay in the honeymoon suite. I'm gonna put this in the car.

  Jaye Tyler : [he leaves with his suitcase]  Looks like the credit card you used to pay for your sins got declined.

  Heidi Gotts : We're both reasonable women.

  Mahandra McGinty : Ha!

  Heidi Gotts : We're both capable of reason. Eric's mine now, and you're never gonna get your hooks in him again. Now, you deal with that any way you like, as long as it doesn't involve me or my husband. But if you make trouble for us, I will make trouble for you.

  Mahandra McGinty : Bitch, are you threatening her?

  Heidi Gotts : Yes. Yes, I believe I am.

  Muse : [through a rabbit logo on a cardboard box]  Save him from her.

  Jaye Tyler : What'd you just say?

  Muse : Save him from her.

  Heidi Gotts : You heard me.

  Jaye Tyler : You've got some nerve. Don't tell me to save him from her. Tell it to someone who gives a...

  [storming off, she returns and grabs the box] 

  Jaye Tyler : I don't even like cocktail cherries, you stupid rabbit.