Scotch Ellis Loring: Dr. Ron Campbell

Quotes 

• Jaye Tyler : Was this all a big setup? Get me to turn a few tricks for the universe, break my heart, and then ship me off to the crazy house before I can squeal?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : Do you feel yourself getting worked up right now? I'd like to de-escalate that feeling.

  Muse : Save him from her.

  Jaye Tyler : He's not in any danger! You lied. Why'd you lie? What is this about?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : How would you feel if I referred you to another therapist?

  Muse : Lick the light switch.

  Jaye Tyler : Wait, what?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : It's not a rejection.

  Muse : Lick the light switch.

  Jaye Tyler : That's disgusting!

  Dr. Ron Campbell : It's not disgusting to want you to have the best care.

  Jaye Tyler : I was talking to the monkey.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : If you'd like to speak to the monkey privately, I could step into the next room.

  Jaye Tyler : Would you mind?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : Not at all.

• Dr. Ron Campbell : What makes you think the monkey was talking to you?

  Jaye Tyler : Well, it looked at me and talked.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : Why don't you walk me through the day the animals started talking to you?

  Jaye Tyler : Well, I didn't get my promotion. And then the lion talked. Then I fainted. And then I had my session with you. And then the monkey talked. And then I met Eric. And then we talked. And then we kissed, and then we... oh, my God. That was right before your monkey broke my heart. Oh, no. That was actually the fish.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : Did Eric break your heart, or was it the fish?

  Jaye Tyler : The fish. The fish told me to break Eric's heart, which broke my heart.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : And do you do everything the monkey and the lion and the fish tell you to do, even if it causes you pain?

  Jaye Tyler : Yeah, they kinda wore me out that way, which is mainly why I'm here.

• Dr. Ron Campbell : [startled to find Jaye in his office]  How did you get in here?

  Jaye Tyler : The door.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : The door was locked.

  Jaye Tyler : Yeah. Well, no, it wasn't. Um, I just need to borrow your monkey.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : You're not borrowing my monkey, Jaye.

  Jaye Tyler : I kinda have to. They told me I had to save him from her, and the wax lion said that the monkey would tell me why.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : Save who from her?

  Muse : [through the monkey]  She's going to kill him.

  Jaye Tyler : She's gonna kill him?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : Is my monkey talking to you now, Jaye?

  Muse : She's going to kill him. She's going to kill him, and it's all because of you.

• Jaye Tyler : [returning her therapist's brass monkey bookend]  I wanted to give this back to you.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : It's got a few dings. And is this wax?

  Jaye Tyler : Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. And sorry about not coming back after I said I had to feed the meter... two months ago.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : It all worked out fine. Why'd you come back today? What's happening in your world?

  Jaye Tyler : Okay, well, what have my mom and brother told you? 'Cause I don't wanna repeat information.

  Muse : [through the brass monkey]  Tell him nothing.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : We're not talking about your mom or your brother.

  Jaye Tyler : Then you'd better tell me something, 'cause I'm fixing to neuter you.

  [seeing Dr. Ron's look] 

  Jaye Tyler : I was talking to the monkey. It talked to me first.