- Wayne Brady: [in "Irish Drinking Song", about being mugged]
- [singing]
- Wayne Brady: Scuffle, he took my wallet,
- Chip Esten: [singing] And ran away so fast,
- Colin Mochrie: [singing] I started crying,
- Ryan Stiles: [singing] ... A stone I passed.
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Irish Drinking Song", about being mugged]
- [singing]
- Ryan Stiles: I still hear from him,
- Wayne Brady: [singing] From, often.
- Chip Esten: [singing] He writes a little letter,
- Colin Mochrie: [singing] It's as soft as cotton.
- Ryan Stiles: [singing] Some day, I'll write back,
- Wayne Brady: [singing] He is my best friend,
- Chip Esten: [singing] And now we both are pen pals,
- Colin Mochrie: [singing] He put my stone back in my end!
- Drew Carey: [before "Whose Line"] The scene is: With the Philistine Army approaching, Samson... Colin...
- [audience whoos]
- Drew Carey: not so fast... is furious with Delilah, Ryan, for...
- Colin Mochrie: [interrupting] Cutting off his hair!
- Drew Carey: For cutting off his hair, yeah.
- [laughs]
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Helping Hands", playing a football coach] "Quack quack quack!" Sound familiar? "Quack quack quack!" You were throwin' ducks out there!
- Drew Carey: [playing a football player] Coach, I don't know what to do, man. I tried...
- Ryan Stiles: [Colin's right arm grabs Drew's shirt] I told you what to do, Carey. You listen to EVERY play I design, and do not run your own plays.
- [Colin lets go]
- Ryan Stiles: Now what did I tell you to run? Let me show you on the board again.
- [Colin's arms fumble for items on the table]
- Ryan Stiles: Let me show you on the board. These...
- [Colin's arms pull up action figures]
- Ryan Stiles: I won't show you on the board, I'll show you with action figures. This is you. These are not actual size, Carey. This is you, throwin' the ball,
- [Colin hits the two action figures together]
- Ryan Stiles: look, you're gettin' hit, hit hit hit, hit all the time!
- Drew Carey: Hey, you better watch your tone. Remember what happened to Bobby Knight.
- Ryan Stiles: I'm sorry. I'll try to keep my tone loooowwww.