- C.J. Cregg: The President will sign the bill with fifteen pens, and I guess someone on my staff wanted you to know that.
- Danny Concannon: C.J.?
- C.J. Cregg: Tell me you don't have a question about the pens.
- Danny Concannon: C.J., I have a question about the pens.
- Hamlin: [on why the government should cut funding to PBS] Product licensing for this merchandise brings in over $20 million a year, none of which goes to PBS, all of which goes to the show's producer, the Children's Television Workshop. Now this is a company whose chief executive earns high six-figures in salary and benefits per year. Yet Sesame Street is subsidized by taxpayer dollars.
- Toby Ziegler: It's a perfectly reasonable complaint.
- Sondra: And?
- Toby Ziegler: I don't care.
- Hamlin: Toby...
- Toby Ziegler: We're gonna see to all those things. In the meantime, at a time when the public is rightly concerned about the impact of sex and violence on TV, this administration is gonna protect the MUPPETS! We're gonna protect Wall Street Week, we're gonna protect Live from Lincoln Center, and by God, we are going to protect Julia Child.
- Jonathan Lydell: [C.J. is speaking with the father of a young man who was murdered because he was gay] I don't understand how this President, who I voted for, I don't understand how he can take such a completely weak-ass position on gay rights. Gays in the military, same-sex marriage, gay adoption, boards of education... where the hell is he? I want to know what quality necessary to being a parent the President feels my son lacked. I want to know from this President, who has not served one day in uniform, I had two tours in Vietnam, I want to know what quality necessary to being a soldier this President feels my son lacked. Lady, I'm not embarrassed that my son was gay. My government is.
- Sam Seaborn: Leo, did you know that there's a town in Alabama that wants
- [to make the Ten Commandments into law]
- Sam Seaborn: ...
- Leo McGarry: Yes.
- Sam Seaborn: What do you think about that?
- Leo McGarry: Coveting thy neighbor's wife is going to cause some problems.
- Sam Seaborn: That's what I said. Plus, if I were arrested for coveting my neighbor's wife, when asked about it, I'd probably bear false witness.
- Donna Moss: What's take out the trash day?
- Josh Lyman: Friday.
- Donna Moss: I mean, what is it?
- Josh Lyman: Any stories we have to give the press that we're not wild about, we give all in a lump on Friday.
- Donna Moss: Why do you do it in a lump?
- Josh Lyman: Instead of one at a time?
- Donna Moss: I'd think you'd want to spread them out.
- Josh Lyman: They've got X column inches to fill, right? They're going to fill them no matter what.
- Donna Moss: Yes.
- Donna Moss: So if we give them one story, that story's X column inches.
- Josh Lyman: And if we give them five stories...
- Josh Lyman: They're a fifth the size.
- Donna Moss: Why do you do it on Friday?
- Josh Lyman: Because no one reads the paper on Saturday.
- Donna Moss: You guys are real populists, aren't you?
- Josh Lyman: [Josh has just handed CJ a report on sex ed] By the way, pages 27 to 33? A couple things every girl should know.
- Leo McGarry: He's been a good friend to me.
- President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: In good times, Leo. It's not hard to like a guy when he's doing well. The measure of a man is how does he behave when things are otherwise?
- C.J. Cregg: If you call Mr. and Mrs. Lydell in St. Paul and ask them why...
- Danny Concannon: Don't.
- C.J. Cregg: Look...
- Danny Concannon: Don't leak me a story.
- C.J. Cregg: I wasn't.
- Danny Concannon: I've seen this look on the face of four other press secretaries before you. You've got a story in the trash this week that's a story, you want it out there and someone said, "No."
- C.J. Cregg: They're all stories this week.
- Danny Concannon: That happens sometimes.
- C.J. Cregg: Four other press secretaries and you never took a free lead?
- Danny Concannon: I always took a free lead.
- C.J. Cregg: Then...
- Danny Concannon: Not from you.
- C.J. Cregg: Why?
- Danny Concannon: Cause twenty minutes from now, you're gonna remember you're a professional and you're not gonna like me anymore.
- C.J. Cregg: ...What makes you think I like you now?
- Danny Concannon: I don't know. But, as long as you keep grabbing me and kissing me, what the hell do I care?
- C.J. Cregg: Good point.
- Danny Concannon: If there's a story, I'll find it.
- C.J. Cregg: No, you won't.
- Danny Concannon: How do you know?
- C.J. Cregg: Cause we've gotten very good at this.
- Danny Concannon: Yes, you have.
- C.J. Cregg: Yes, we have.